More of kayo than oshin

I took the time and watched 100 episodes of oshin, just to refresh a
vague childhood memory.
Not bad at all, but I just have to say that by the 100th episode I saw
myself checking to see how many episodes were left and was shocked
that there were a total of 297 episodes.. and I was like, "geezus" ..I
mean...can't go ahead watch 200 more episodes..So, gave it up for
now..Also, the lady that english subtitles the episodes does them 2 at
a time per week and I have EXHAUSTED all english subtitled
episodes..and from now in, I can watch 2 episodes per week ...The
whole series though is already uploaded in a CHINESE VERSION and if I
get desperate or bored enough, one of these days, I will watch the
rest of the 100 episodes, in a marathon fashion in chinese and be done
with it..LOL
So, yeah...I used to think that I AM OSHIN in some ways..but now,
given my adult perspective on things, I AM MORE OF A KAYO than oshin
...:))A sad but interesting revelation about myself
Tags":oshin,kayo,japan,childhood_memories,memories,tv_series

The colored memories of japan

My first exposure to japan was during my childhood when an english
dubbed version of the tv series OSHIN was telecast on our TV....that
was the MOST UNTAINTED INNOCENT BEAUTY FILLED MEMORY OF JAPAN...japan
became the land of snow,wooden slippers,sliding doors,ceramics and
what not ...to me,,it was all INNOCENCE AND HAPPINESS FILLED...
With my exposure to MR.U...who was in the japanese language learning
club during his early teens and hence , his association and love for
japan comes from that...
and sometimes in 2008/2009,,he was taking yet another trip to japan
and therefore, i was tweeting what I THOUGHT WERE PERSONAL anonymous
tweets, THE GIFTS i wanted from japan for me...I wanted tatami
mats,sushi making mats, and some ceramics...
Funnily, by 2008, all my memories japan GOT COLORED WITH MR.U

Funnily, MR.GREEN's friend, twitter searches and auto adds anyone who
tweets about japan because incidentally mr.green was living in japan
and still lives in japan and he was running a blog and was looking to
add all japan interested people to his twitter friends feed so that we
can then read his blog and he can RAISE AD REVENUE via the blog
visits..

And after making tweets about japan that were INDIRECTLY directed at
mr.u, I was surprised when some 40 YEAR OLD GUY from japan suddenly
followed me ...sure enough i checked out his twitter and then his
friends list and then proceeded to add this other guy who was a
software engineer also from japan...I added this mr.green's friend
first and then read his blog and then added this other guy who
happened to be his friend...
This guy was MR.GREEN
In an unexpected series of events thereafter, i became close to
MR.GREEN for a while and NOW ALL MY MEMORIES OF JAPAN have stopped
being colored with mr.u AND sadly ARE NOW ALL COLORED WITH THE MEMORY
ASSOCIATION OF mr.green
This saddens me very very much...
I WANT MY UNTAINTED CHILDHOOD MEMORY ASSOCIATIONS OF JAPAN BACK...
BUT IT IS JUST NOT HAPPENING..
Anything about japan , any news on tv...anything on the travel channel
and all i can think of is MR.GREEN..sadly, he is married to someone
else now :(((
TAGS:japan,memories,oshin,mr.u

How real is real?

How real is real?

Really

If this is what you call real, when the real is marred by a lot of clandestine happenings behind curtains that never get opened..then yeah , real , is not so real at all
ON an other note..i was so warmed up in the soul when i read that they classified him as a rock blues musician..sweet....
hmmmmmm...anyways...If i can hire somebody to meticulously watermark all my photographs and upload one each for each of my blog entries..i could so very well be able to share so much visual joy and peace with my readers..alas..that has to wait..hmmmmm
Again while I talk..let me go on yet another tangent and then about the pics of this other person..i see him in different poses...and then..suddenly I am like,"not so attractive after all..what the fuck was it that I kept reliving in my head that was so incredibly sexy..oh..so it is my mind..my mind thoughts that created the sexy that really actually doesn't prolly exist" hmmmm..I sat there and mused re-looking at the pics...hmmmmm
Again...going on another tangent..I went back and read something else that this other kid wrote some months ago..something about definition of deep love..hmmmmm...okay..anyways...
Again..now that I am rambling on my poetry and prose blog instead of my RAMBLE BLOG(another blog of mine)
Just as I type this..I am multitasking and watching an interview of a famous cardiac surgeon...talking about the times when the PYRAMID SYSTEM was still in place in the SURGICAL RESIDENCIES BACK THEN(thank whoever,they don't do that anymore)..He finished his training around exactly the year I was born..Interesting...wow...SMILING NOW..
I am such a multitasker..I fancy myself saying..at how productive multitasking is..but IS IT?
Btw..this other kid..he stopped blogging where he used to usually blog..hmmmmmmmm.
speaking of which..I think I must go ramble at the ramble blog rather than at this blog..feels too inappropriate and misfitting in this blog..going there now.

Good days, Bad days

There are good days, there are bad days, there are good people , there are bad people..No need to sit and analyze why someone that respected and wrote emotional letters to you at one point suddenly turns around and starts becoming vicious to you.
That is life..seasons changes, days change, I change, they change..
So, just let the change happen and just move on ...

The pink flowers in my neighborhood-Fragrance cocktail in my living room

First off..
There are tons of flowering  trees in my neighborhood
The greenest neighborhood in the whole of the city
and now...recently at the age of 31yrs..I suddenly realize that I probably have POLLEN ALLERGIES
The living room has been smelling great these days especially if i leave the windows open for long, thanks to the various flowering trees in the neighborhood allowing their fragrances diffuse into my living room
The funny part is..recently I also started using a very fragrant smelling soap...
So, for the longest time I didn't know if the great smell in the living room was from the trees or from the very very uber fragrant soap that i place near the sink .
Add a third scent to this already head cocktail,,,what you ask?
My neighbors have some fruit trees and flower climbers which also seem to be emanating fragrances this season.
Probably they planted new plants this year..last year there was no heady smell coming from that direction
So, at this given point of time, I am being bombarded by various fragrances and pollen types from all given directions.
I don't have the heart to close up all windows and not really enjoy spring like it should be enjoyed.

End result? allergy induced bronchoconstriction...>>>>breathing difficulty (for non medical peeps)

I am on allergy medication right now..seriously..I am surprised that my pollen allergy took 31 years to crop up..i mean..I am becoming more and more like my dad.. I have the same allergies as him..LOL..
Anyways..inspite of the allergies..I am still enjoying the HEADY COCKTAIL OF FRAGRANCES..SO SWEET SMELLING I SAY.

Riding bikes along lakeshores

I like Riding my bike along the lake shore
The water with its ripples
The yatching people
The people on the rowboats
The ducks on the shore sometimes
Birds flying away or to the water
Sunlight reflecting on the water
The shimmer shammer of the yellow light
The trees around the lake
Tall and beautiful
Shady and green
The vast expanses of sky
The fluffy white clouds
The breeze against my face
very very soothing
I love the bike rides around the lakeshore

He once told me

He once told me

 He once told me this :

I don't think anything is your fault.
You are a sweet giving honest person and you don't deserve any sadness.
I will just cuddle and kiss you quietly as we fall asleep waiting for a better tomorrow.
I have a motto that tomorrow is always better as we learn something today that we can use use tomorrow ,so logic says. tomorrow has to be better than today. And you always make tomorrow better with your words and  kindness.


Thank you... xxx

I say :
Thanks so much ..but I think all of this is my fault.I need to change the way i behave.

He says :
Don't change a thing. You are beautiful as you are. You are 99% perfect. xoxo
No thanks needed
You are a wonderful person.
Thank you for persisting with this troubled guy. I have found new meaning because of you !!!



Now he tells me:
I never loved you,Wonder how you got that idea!

I am thinking:
Gee,If some man tells those kind of loving sentences to me..I would assume he loved me,yeah?
I won't fathom it up that the guy doesn't love me but is just lying random lies,yeah?
Is it my fault, I misread the signals?
 

The man I fell in love with

Copyright Lecinqblog aka Dr.A.Please don't use/reproduce this without prior written permission.PLAGIARISM or stealing someone else's  written works is unethical
==================================

You know who i fell in love with ?
That smiling 31 year old man..
standing in that corner in that office picture..
that true smile..
that silent strength..
that silence..
those eyes.
those eyebrows.
those shoulders


I fell in love with the man that told me,
"BEING WITH YOU MORE THAN JUST HEAD ON SHOULDER , YA KNOW, UPSETTING
THE NEIGHBORS ON EACH SIDE AND UPSTAIRS AND DOWNSTAIRS AND AT ALL
HOURS OF THE NIGHT AND MORNING , MOST NIGHTS OF THE WEEK, YA KNOW! I FEEL EMBARRASSED  THAT I SAID THAT BUT HEY, I SAID IT"

That is the man i fell in love with.

I fell in love with the man,
who held my hand,
while i talked to him about;
childhood stories
and about mathematics..
That is the man I fell in love with



I fell in love with the man,
The man who gently held me,
when i had a fever
and asked me if i needed a tummy rub
The man who told me he planned a whole life with me..
Tthat is the man
I fell in love with.

It is a pity,
that man never existed in reality
It was just a beautiful interpretation
that happened in my head.
He never was there
It was just how I saw it
========================
Written by Lecinqblog aka Dr.A

NOTES TO MY LOVE

 Copyright Lecinqblog aka Dr.A..I wrote these notes to my guy .Please don't use/reproduce this without prior written permission.PLAGIARISM or stealing of other's written works is unethical
==============================================================
1/Learn to say sorry to me..whenever you mess up
2/Think hard before you disrespect me.
3/Learn to verbalize and say how much you love me without fear..
4/Don't diss me in the middle of magical moments or conversations
5/Give me time on the very day i want it ..coz that is when it works.
No point giving me time  ten days down the line .yeah? the magic disappears.
6/Don't try to make it look like you are doing me a favor..You know for
sure that you are only doing yourself a favor when you spend time with
me..coz i fill you with life..the life that left you years ago...you
have slowly died a death sweetie..that saddens me the most.

A vagabond spinster till i die to dust

okay..say something.
.come on..
the silence is so palpable..
and come here ..
so that i can let you rest your head on my shoulder
and then i can kiss your forehead a lil bit..
Sweetie i am sad that this is not meant to be..
Maybe i am just destined to die a vagabond spinster..
Maybe my beautiful body will go unappreciated
in all it beautiful tender suppleness..
Maybe i will never find that admirer who will have me each night
Till I finally become this withered old body..
 A beautiful body
mine
It whithers and wilts
and then finally mixes with the dust..
the dust from where it came from

What a waste.
sad , no?

The problem is.
Just coz i want my beautiful body appreciated ;
I can't sacrifice my mind's needs..
I have done that before and
mindless sex doesn't work for me..
It kills me ,kills my soul, my spirit too..
So,just letting my beautiful body go unappreciated
just works fine for me..suits me even...
As my smart mind has a path of its own..
alone it walks..
no companion..
hurdles after hurdles..
it jumps through hoops,
walks on fires,
rides the waves..all alone..
MY body feels unappreciated but the mind thrives alone.

My dear Einstein

When i first signed up for Twitter, I so wanted to stand out..I wanted to showcase my talents.
I am a physician by profession..But my nimble fingers not only perform accurately skillful surgical procedures, they also manage to play musical instruments, sketch some original stuff and do some great knitting and embroidery.

Coming back to when i first signed up on twitter> I decided that instead of just  mentioning that i was an artist , why not showcase one of my favorite sketches of all time?

You know, Much like, PROOF OF THE PUDDING..

When people get to see samples of your work , they believe you more .More than just believing my word for it .


My page background on twitter has been changed many times since then, but for the longest time, this sketch sat there-in all its sweet glory -almost for 4 or 5 months I think!

Here goes the sketch

THE STORY BEHIND THE EINSTEIN SKETCH

While I was in med school, I often would sit there in the TV room with my study books .
Yeah.I have this bad lil habit of studying WHILE watching TV..with the TV on mute for most part..or very loud..Kinda helps me focus more for some reason.
As i study the tough principles and classifications from my med textbooks,  I take a 10 min breather every hour, wherein i watch TV uninterrupted.A mini diversion break, so that I don't go all mad with the med school study sessions.
It is during one of those 10 min breaks that I sketched this.
Since i only had a refill pen on hand and no pencil,I drew this sketch with an Ink pen.The kind of pen that we all usually use to write out study notes .
Why Einstein you ask?
The thing is, there was a newspaper lying around there in the living room.During my 10 min break I picked up the Science and Technology page and there staring in my face was a beautiful black and white picture of Einstein.
WHAT AN AUSTERE LOOKING FACE WITH A SMART PERSON'S HALO!
Sudden inspiration strikes and  I quickly set out to sketch his face .
Within 10 minutes..Voila !
Very satisfied with the end result.
As a matter of fact, this sketch happens to me my favorite of all times-Out of all the sketches i have ever sketched..
WHY?
Because i sketched it with a pen--no use of eraser and that would mean..ZERO SCOPE FOR MISTAKES .
So, unless you are a good sketcher(cough cough-self praise meter just burst to max) you can't accomplish a sketch in pen within 10 min..
These days.. I seriously don't indulge in the joy of sketching and painting as much as i would like to..I am trying to get back to the golden form of yester-years..LOL

Honest interactions

huh?
see, now the interaction that is happening is happening based on honesty.
yeah?
Not like, you saying something ambiguous and then me misinterpreting
it and then feeling bad or misunderstanding.
ya know.
We need this interaction..this honesty , to dignify things.coz you owe
me that information.yeah?
get it?
Coz i am here, I don't have a fiance. or BF that I can go back and sleep with like nothing ever happened with anyone else and a fairy tale ensues..yeah?
So I am here,ALONE, tossing in my bed wondering about this and that and
this and that and what happened when and all that..yeah?
I have no emotional comfort while I am left alone bearing the brunt of someone else's lies .yeah?
So, knowing the answers of what exactly happened when, kinda gives me clarity .yeah
Helps me understand your psyche better and  thus rage less after I gain a perspective as to what can lead a person to do such irresponsible acts and drag other people into their shit without a second thought.
Knowing why people do the shit they do the results of which you have to bear, helps you get stronger and then move on .yeah?
Which I why i ask,,I still ask a thousand questions.You owe me the answers coz you are the source of this shit i am feeling right now in my heart.

My best friend talks about dreams

I have a good friend.we have been friends since 2004.That is like 5 years..yeah? good
We are these friends who will go months without even saying a Hi or dropping a mail, but one day suddenly when we talk,We talk as if we just talked yesterday.
There is no uneasiness to it.We take off from where we left.
To achieve that comfort level where there is no animosity in conversation when you talk after a long time, you need a certain compatibility and a certain overlap of mental wavelengths.
We do have the comfort level, I think.

And this friend, let us call him 'kim', he is the same age as me..One thing that we have in common is this liking for cooking and arts.. We have artistic brains..yet we are professionals.He is a computer professional and I am a physician.. But we seldom talk about work, we talk about lives, philosophy ,arts etc etc.

He thinks he is this bohemian trying to make a living out of art while he could have very easily made tons of money being the computer geek that he is.We all have that calling,Ya know.
So, yes, as we keep talking, we reach a point, where he starts saying the most profoundest things..
Very well thought out , and they come out of his mouth just like that!
I make a mental note of those pearls of wisdom to recall later, coz , he himself forget his own words.
On some days when I say, " Do you remember you said this" and he goes, "Really?Did I say such smart stuff?"
So , very recently we talked and he talked about dreams. I am sure he will soon forget his own profound words.I figured, Why not just make a record of his words?So that, later,I can quote his own words to him.
Here goes,

KIM talks about DREAMS
-----------
QUOTE:
A person who's capable of dreaming has a mind so vast that there is not enough time in one life to cover that ocean.
Some dreams are sensible...but they take generations to come true.
A dream that is a legacy that gets built little by little each generation.
Like the bridge to races and the ending of slavery. Those are all dreams many people had which took decades and centuries to finally happen.
 UNQUOTE
----------------------------------
I have such nice friends.Nice!!!

Vital sentences that i need to constantly remember for my own sake!

XYZ:"The first thing that came to mind when i saw those pics was &^%*($#)*&^"
Me thinks:Sighs and shudders,heart shrinks and breaks into tiny lil pieces in utter hearache

XYZ:" If my situation had been any different, I would still look for others"
Me think: Good,that clarifies a lot of things in my head.Thanks for atleast opening your mouth and telling me.Blesses her own stars for having asked this question

XYZ:"It was never as serious as you imagined"
Me thinks: Oh...oh...okay..okay...still pondering

These sentences pretty much clarify everything for me..besides ofcourse tons of other not so flattering responses that you don't try giving to  a very educated very smart very talented and a very kind woman..You don't go compare her with uneducated-piece of shit-women who have no of education and who make money parading underwear on the ramp..There is a lot of difference between a highly educated woman who is also very artistically inclined and some silly ass uneducated  idiot who walks  on  the ramp and does nothing other  than be eyecandy.If a person doesn't understand the difference, that says a lot about them. about what they want and about what they feel comfortable with..

Degradation with a single word

DEGRADATION WITH A SINGLE WORD
Copyright(c)2009 Dr.A aka Lecinqblog.Please do not use or reproduce without prior written permission
Degradation with a single word
That single word,
It shattered every and any bit of respect,
You ever had for me,
Opened up windows to allow me to think;
About how you think.

That word,
Degraded me to no end.
Did I need to expose myself to that degrading word?
Probably yes?
by the very fact that I took you in,
became your friend,
I deserved a taste of the real you;
So, yes, i deserved it like that.

Your perceptions are very important too;
Why?
They have repercussions,that's why!

All the time I kept giving,
you kept viewing me distorted,
It takes away from everything.

The love you ever had for me,
The respect you ever had for me,
The friendship that ever was,
The comfort level that came easy initially,
That single word?
It takes everything away.

What remains,
Standing alone,
start naked,
Is the ugly truth.

The truth of degradation,
A slap in the face of kindness.
But it never seemed like kindness to you;
in all your twisted thought processes.

Like a blind person,
Who cannot appreciate my painting,
Because he cannot see;
That is you!

I walk away,
shaking in horror,
did I need to take that word of degradation?
And swallow it and still try a consensus?
NO.
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

Dear 'puppy dog eyes',Sorry!

Dear 'Puppy dog eyes',Sorry!
Copyright(c)2009 Dr.A aka Lecinqblog
Please do not reproduce/use without prior written permission

Dear Puppy dog eyes,
Sorry!
Sorry,about everything.
It hurts,
I know it hurts,
It hurts me as much,
All I can say is Sorry,
because, I am truly sorry,
It hurts my heart,
It hurts my soul,
It had to happen this way,
This is all consuming,
like running on fumes,
the last drops of gasoline,
leaves no room for anything else,
We run in circles,
hurt each other to see how much we care,
This is all consuming
It hurts,more than i can describe,
Sorry is all I can say,
Sorry for you,
Sorry for me,
The puppy dog eyes, they haunt,
I know i haunt you;
Everyday,
We are like ghosts now,
our souls are ghosts too,
haunt is all we can do;
To each others' minds,
to our hearts;
We squeeze them and pulverize them,
Drink them up and
Try to walk away,
coz it hurts to be,
it hurts to walk away,
it just plain hurts.
So, sorry!
Sorry this ever happened.
Dear puppy dog eyes,
my dear puppy dog eyes,
Sorry?
I know I am your puppy dog ears,
but you are my puppy dog eyes,
I am sorry..coz this hurts too much for me to stay!
hugs
Sorry, my puppy dog eyes, sorry,
This just consumes me too much,
I have to walk away,
For you, For me!
Written by Lecinqblog

Want

WANT
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog.
Copyright(c)Dr.A aka Lecinqblog Please do not reproduce/use without prior written permission
WANT


Serendipity,
crossing paths,
Curiosity,
Conflict,
dismissal.


More curiosity,
interaction,
withdrawal,
dismissal,
interaction,
dismissal,
conflict.




Immense reaction;
spontaneity,
conflict,
anger,
withdrawal,
emotional disconnnection.




Conflict,
withdrawal,
curiosity,
interaction,
want.




Curiosity,
interaction,
entanglement,
withdrawal,
conflict,
anger.




Emotional withdrawal,
denial,
escapism,
withdrawal,
anger.




Interaction,
interaction,
interaction,
immense entanglement,
emotional entanglement.




Want,
more want,
immense want,
curiosity,
withdrawal.




Conflict,
anger,
denial,
anger,
conflict.




Want,
want and conflict,
revelation,
vindication,
occurance.


Hurt,
regret,
disgust,
shudder.




More disgust,
sadness,
hurt,
regret,
deep regret,
give up!


Silence,
disconnnect,
sadness,
fear,
yearning,
reconnect.


Reconciliation,
tears,
hurt,
disappointment,
resentment.


Hurt,
deep hurt,
yearning,
want.


Giving in,
hurt,
emptiness,
yearning,
want.


Dissatisfaction,
hurt,
anger,
want!
Written by Dr.AR aka Lecinqblog

The pensive playlist

Like I usually say on the Poetry and poise blogs,
Playlists and the music we choose to play at a given point of time reflect our mood at that particular time.

Dec 20- 2 ft of snow in the Northeast

Lots of thoughts in my head.Some puppy dog eyes haunt me in my mind..some bitterness in the heart prod me to walk away and then I need a playlist..
This is what i played

Playlist now>Santana(product G&B) Maria>Chris Daughtry-Home>Its not over>Coldplay-The hardest part>Daniel bedingfield-Gonna get through this 3:23 AM Dec 20th from web

Listening to>Coldplay-If you love me>Daniel powter-Bad day>Darren Hayes-Insatiable>Rihanna-Disturbia>Sean Hayes-Dream machine>Duffy-Mercy:)) 3:39 AM Dec 20th from web

The song DREAM MACHINE has a very hypnotic feel to it.It is like U R laying on the dance floor slowly writhing in a trance like rattlesnakes 3:54 AM Dec 20th from web

Playing now>Duffy-Warwicke avenue>Eminem-8 mile-Lose yourself>Enrique Iglesias-RythmDivine>Robbie williams-Feel>Fergie-Big girls don't cry:) 4:09 AM Dec 20th from web

Playing now>Fergie-Fergilicious>Pink-Funhouse>George Harrison-Sweet Lord>Green day-Boulevard of Broken dreams>GunsNRoses-sweet child of mine 4:40 AM Dec 20th from web

 puppy dog eyes, pouty mouth,typing away frantically into keyboard,while multitasking-cooking spaghetti casserole.More puppy dog eyes!!! 9:19 AM Dec 20th from web

My Best friend/s advice/s me!

 I am a woman...we all have relationship crisis/crises(more than one).

We go to our bestest friends.Friends who have nothing out of it, as in they don't benefit from any particular outcome.So,they give neutral third person opinion.

Because i am a woman, this time around, I  went to  male male best friends to find out the male perspective on this particular  issue..

Two male best friends and yet , Almost exact similar advice..

Sigh..Yet..I don't learn..coz my gut instinct asks me to get anxiety related arrhythmia by indulging in dangerous pursuits.So,I continue on, in spite of the advice they gave.

Nevertheless,here are nuggets of their advice>Just as a record for posterity..

Their names and real details of the whole issue have been withheld for the privacy of all parties involved.
============================================
BEST FRIEND 1 ADVICES


Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"ya, you must've missed that memo, all guys are dogs" again,thanks for saying that.I didn't know ALL were.they are?
Me:BLAH
Best friend advice:"..dogs that chase after any tail they see!"

okaaay.I didn't know it was so grim.But really?I guess!

Me:BLAH
 Best friend advice:"....and he would've moved onto the next tail he saw walk past"
Again,thanks! I guess he would have!

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"...one last time GET OVER IT.you're not perfect, you made a mistake!"

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)Best friend advice:"...learn, move on.forget he even exists!"Okie, dokie,shall try!

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"..no, you've finally learned something that most learn at 18-22.catching up!"

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"..he wasn't in love with you.he was reaching.trying to see what he could get.just drop it, move on, learn from your mistakes."

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"..get over that feeling.pride comes before the fall."

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"..you now see the need for that attachment.never before have you seen that need.cause he couldn't get you.he wanted you only on his conditions"

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"he might not have actually quit those things"

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"best case scenario he falls in love with you, you fall in love with him, story over.worst case, you get there, he dumps you within two weeks"

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"no need to waste more brain functions on him"

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
Best friend advice:"keep striving for perfection.he wasn't perfection"

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)===================================

BEST FRIEND 2 ADVICES


Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:what sort of drama? guy drama?

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES: So now he'll have no girlfriends

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:lol no, but it happens allllllll the time.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:why? there's nothing wrong with the story

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:it sounds like any normal drama story

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:lots of douche bag guys out there.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:welcome to most men!

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:'Most' doesn't mean all

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:It's true though. Lots of men I know are jackasses.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:I don't approve of most guys my friends date

 Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:I'm not saying women aren't guilty of the same behavior. I think it's becoming common in today's society

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:People are programmed to climb the ladder in their careers and in their life. Always upgrading, always looking for more.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:sometimes a mess is worth cleaning up. Kinda like a run down house that needs a good renovation.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:I can tell that relationship won't go very well.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:yeah, I prefer to avoid other people's messes and clean up my own if I make a spill.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:when people get too greedy, they lose everything.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:sometimes it takes two hands to catch a falling/shooting star, and if you're busy catching one with another

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:hand, you'll drop them both.

Me:BLAH BLAH BLAH (EXPLAINING SITUATION)
BMF ADVICES:well, it's stuff you already know., I just put it into words for you
=================
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

The smell of his body

If you follow my Twitter stream on a regular basis you might recall that weeks ago, i got drenched in the rain--to the bone.. got my camera and phone and other paraphernalia wet too..not to mention the boots and what not.. I could have easily found refuge in a building just as the rain began to pour, but i kept moving on, partly because it had been so long since i got wet in the rain and I like getting wet in the rain.
Anyways, I came back home and within an hour had to go out again..NO time to dry off my stuff and my favorite coat was wet to the core.. So, i decided to dry it out by ironing it.
I think the coat was of a synthetic waterproof material-something that would melt if i put the hot iron right on top of it..So, I used newspaper between the Hot iron and the overcoat and kept ironing it..It was probably the chemicals in the newsprint but a strange smell of print admixed with wet coat and smell of rain and all that finally reminded of a strange smell that came back from distant memory.My ex boyfriend...hmmmmmm...His body..that smell....I guess, he used to accumulate all the automobile exhaust smell on his body -It can happen when you ride a bike  in the open exposing yourself to automobile exhaust on the streets.
We used to have a fixed time of roughly an hour at my home each day to speak and spend time with each other.He would brave all kindsa weather to make it there in time ..and since there was only a hour(this one hour was besides the eight hours we spent together at med school-that is like 9 hours together,geez)
anyways, in that one hour at home, we would get down to business(if you know what i mean) like clockwork..and his body sweat, the automobile exhaust and sometimes the wet coat smell that lingered on his skin ..that smell.. that is how the present smell smelled of..funny how smells get forever etched in our minds like this.. It was a spooky experience to smell that smell again. all while ironing out a wet overcoat.LOL

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I just realized that a lot of young impressionable minds are reading my blog entries and thus i felt the need to come here and add a post script to this story .
Original blog entry was written on Nov 25 2009
Post script has been added on Dec 24th 2009
How many hours are there in a day? 24 , yeah? Then we sleep for 8 and that leaves us with how many?16.
Out of those 16 hours, we were spending 9 hours together..and the med schoool and 1 hour of to and fro travelling.. that leaves us with how much of time for ourselves?
Let us see, 5 hours ..and in those 5 hours, we had to study, shower, eat and do whatever other stuff.
Is that enough? Is that enough time for ourselves?
Also doing such a thing(getting down to business)  at a  prescribed time like clockwork each day, coz we only get  that one hour together at home in full privacy ..again..How healthy was that?
On retrospect, doing it like that coz that was our only chance to do it. was unhealthy in itself..
                          It is like eating and stuffing yourself silly coz you may not get time to eat  when you actually get hungry..it is sad and unnecessary .
                        It was more like an obligation which we felt the need to do coz if we didn't do it at the time we had together,we  won't get time later when we actually miss each other and feel the need to do it.
                                  And yeah, did I mention  the pathetic all nighter phone calls we used to make each other ..all coz i would feel that those one hour sessions ended abruptly just when i started to emote..(I need alteast a 3 hour session, to do it slowly.I can't hurriedly do it like it was my job and i was getting paid for it or some such)
                          So i used to feel that these sessions  were animated and forced and were not done sponteneously and i had to emote and express during that prescribed time of one hour out of force and that doesn't ever happen with me. I need 3 hours...I need it to escalate , slow and steady.(btw, if any creeps are reading this....if you are over the age of 44.please imagine your daughter is writing this blog entry and move on...instead of having creepy fantasies in your head)
                                         When i look back , I understand how distressed I was with the whole scenario.
On top of that,this particular person that i was with., I really didn't want to be with him at all in the first place. It was because he tried every tact in the book so that he could make me be with him, I finally gave in.
Giving in like that,out of the fact that the other person is so into you and that if you are with such a person you are doing something for them..is a VERY BAD IDEA..
                                     nuff of preaching..btw,, to read more on relationship dynamics and such, you might want to check out my other blog "antidote to anger" look to your right and there is  a link.
cheers