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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Loving two people at the same time-Two timing?

Okay, first off, I am not really physically two timing at all. The thing though is , the morality beacon that I am ,for the first time in my life I actually am mentally, In my mind alone , actually conflicted between being attracted to two men at the same time. Hmmmm. I always yap on all my five different blogs(look to the right on the blog roll to find the rest of the four)about morality, loyalty , ethics yada yada yada blah blah blah.
  I do practice what i preach mostly, especially in terms of ethics, responsibility and what not. Which is why, this present state of mind bothers me.

How can I truly truly find two men equally good enough? ( in different ways of appeal though).

 I mean, each of them is special in their own way. very special . very very talented and very special and very amicable in their own way. Now, I just can't choose. what do I do?
 Btw, I am not going out or dating either one of them.

 I just , in my own silly mind , try to see whom i must choose (in my head alone), to fanstasize further. But naaah, first time in my life, I just am not able to chooose. Or, is it perhaps that  I am not able to choose coz as good as each of them is, Neither of them is the bestest ever for me to want to give up the other?

 Do they complement each other so much,so that having both of them in my fantasy plans gives me a complete man? seriously, for the first time I am able to understand the psyche behind why some people might "two time" when it comes to companionship.

I don't know.
Not that i am justifying two timing or anything. Not that given a chance I would date both of them or some such.

If at all it comes down to putting actions to thoughts, I prolly might "freeze out" and not respond to either one of them till i figure out whom i am gonna choose. I have this "clamped up" factor in me when it comes to times of utter indecision. I just sit there and clamp down till the moment of indecision passes. 
   But,for one moment i could vaguely understand why people take the easy way out and two time rather than sit it out like me.

Having to decide on just one out of the two equally appealing choices is a crisis situation , and while people like me might sit out the crisis rather than do something "scum-baggish" like "two timing", a few other people just are immature and date two people at the same time.
Needless to say such two timing will end in a lot of heartache for all parties involved.

So, yeah, till one of these guys does a mistake, I am hanging here . Trying to decide. Trying hard to decide so much so that i have a headache each time i try to think about it. LOL.

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