"ADAM and EVE" ,she babbles!

I just read this blog entry by her,mr.green's second wife that is !
Given that she has a  college degree(I am hoping she has one) it surprises me that she has not ENOUGH BIOLOGY background for her to already know ABOUT THE FACT that sexual identity DEVELOPS by age three.

First off this lady is the woman I personally ILL-ADVICED  mr.green to get married to
anyways, solely, based on my knowledge that he has already spent years dating and fucking her.

I felt that since he had already done so and is continuing to do so even after we found each other on a social networking site, he probably would be better off and  WOULD BE MORE COMFORTABLE sharing a life with someone whom he has already been sharing a life for so long.
What I am really irritated is about people who continue to fuck and live with a person and while they are doing so ,continue to shop for upgrades.The reason why you are shopping for upgrades is because SOMETHING is not working in your current relationship.And if something is not working in your current relationship ,then either discuss it with your current relationship person and make it work or break up with them.Don't continue to fuck the person you don't even love anymore,while still continue to people shop for an upgrade,is all I am saying.

Anyways,there was never going to be a time, I WOULD EVER CONSIDER A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM or ever marry him,and since he is one of those people who looks for a SURE THING,,who would be STUCK UP WITH HIM LEGALLY,I felt,I felt,a lady of her temperament is more suited to his mindset!

So,amidst all the arguments and discussion,I AM GUILTY of advicing him to go back to her and be with her and marry her.

I didn't realize that he would actually go ahead and ACT on it so quickly. Again,given that he is a very sneaky,dishonest personality,HE PROBABLY HAD BEEN PLANNING a wedding with her for MUCH LONGER than I knew he was planning one.

Anyways, Since our acquaintance was so ILL TIMED ,nothing was going to come of it anyways.And it is NOT JUST ABOUT TIMING HERE.Even if he had been single when we met,given that he is much older than I am and given his personality is VERY deceptive, and given that he is actually emotionally gay,I WOULD HAVE NEVER MARRIED HIM ANYWAYS..


But then, we were so hooked onto each other, It would have helped ,had we experienced EACH OTHER on a more deeper intimate level for a bit  longer BEFORE LETTING GO...
And so, it feels so unrequited on BOTH SIDES...and sadly, the man went and got married to her already!!

All I am saying is,WHEN SOMETHING FEELS compulsive with someone,explore it with all honesty...And don't just make stupid decisions in haste.

Anyways, after I found out he had gotten married,I even wrote him a letter ..I told
him, and i
quote"Yes, I did push you back to her (with all our arguments and my criticisms about how he was so SHOPPING FOR UPGRADES in people and yada yada) ,yes,I myself told you to go back to her and yes, on some level, I DO think that she is better suited for you,BUT YOU SHOULD
HAVE WAITED a bit longer before getting married like that" unquote .

HERE IS THE DEAL,with what happened back then.
We were from different worlds,in terms of maturity levels,different intellectual levels,different emotional mindsets,different countries,different ethical standards,different views on alcohol and addictions and such.

A MARRIAGE WOULD NEVER work for us together..I AGREE WHOLE-HEARTEDLY..but there is this yearning and desire that got ignited somewhere along the way , amongst those
emotional long 14 hours email conversations and amongst those quick stealing of kisses over letters and amongst adjusting clocks to the timezone of the other person just to have a wee bit of conversation where our free-times coincide...
that desire is what remains UNREQUITED...
IGNITING it WAS A MISTAKE,.

So, I AM UPSET that he went ahead and married in haste,half in despair about how the "US' in the 'WE" will never materialize. (again,here,given that he is generally that poker-faced dishonest person,maybe he had been planning that wedding with her all along and meanwhile,KEPT talking this way to MANY women including me, online ,as a sexual outlet.I could be wrong about my assessment of the whole situation we had back then.Also,given that he is gay,our whole affair and his current and past marriages are all a lie,in my view)

So,yeah,in my opinion,because it all felt UNREQUITED, we just had to experience each other a little bit more...we just had to...hmmm..sigh !Why?it is better to explore and plod things that are compuslive and see ,how it pans out!

All those things we discussed we wanted to do in bed to each other,The discussions,they had such a profound impact on our heads ..both of our heads
And now,I FEAR TO IMAGINE IN DISGUST that he is  probably trying out those moves on her and making her a HAPPY, GIGGLY GAL....

Silly her, she must be surprised and gleeful about the fact that her once robotic boyfriend(fiance) in bed, is suddenly such a sensitive lover trying out so many new things in bed...

Silly her, she must even FANCY that it is her special presence which  is making her husband a hungry aggressive lover...
Silly her, little does she know that it took another woman from thousand miles away to awaken and caress his sexuality.. Ofcourse,no matter how much I or her carress his sexuality,the person he has been in love for 12 years now is a man and he will continue to be in love with him no matter who he sticks his dick into.
If ,in 5 years of fucking him in real life,she didn't have the emotional I.Q,to recognize that something doesn't fit,then maybe, SHE DESERVES to be married to a gay man.
AGain,MAYBE he already knows and DOESN'T CARE..as long as he rabbit fuck hers,be her trophy husband and does things around the house and store!

Silly her, little does she know that while she greedily laps him up in her, a little fragment of him is still remembering me and wanting me and imagining me and while he is fantasizing about me,he is actually only compensating for the attention he craves for but never gets from this man he has been in love with for 12 years now..
Gay men who pretend to be heterosexual can CREATE A BIG MESS all around for everyone involved!


So, when I finally read one of her blogs this week(I have to clarify,haven't read her blogs in a long long time..just out of fleeting curiosity, randomly picked up her latest blog to read...) ,i was like,maybe they deserve each other.

In this blog, she babbles a lot about how she thought, that sexuality and sexual desire only awakened in ADULThood JUST LIKE THE ADAM AND EVEN STORY SAYS..

First off, ADAM AND EVE story is EXTREME CHAUNVINISTIC BULLSHITE!where women are created out of male ribs..WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? women give birth to men..not the other way around.and more than anything.if all of us came from adam and eve,that means ,we are all brothers and sisters fucking each other..GROSS AND NON-SCIENTIFIC..

DISGUSTING,ILLOGICAL ,GENDER-ABUSIVE RELIGIOUS STORIES!

So,yeah,her blog entry.

She then proceeds to describe how her husband loves SNOW and so wants to go snowboarding on weekends and how SHE HATES SNOW...

I am not sure if mr.green's NEW FOUND LOVE FOR SNOW was one way of making sure he gets ALONE TIME. ..or a way to STILL ASSERT HIS INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY amidst always doing all the things she INSISTS to be done in the name of tradition and in a tone of RIGHTFUL BEGGING that many controlling insecure wives adopt to ...much like, " we must do this and this and this coz I AM YOUR WIFE AND I SAID SO"

I say,"new found love for snow" coz mr.green grew up in a country with no snow and as far as I know,HE IS NOT REALLY A NATURAL either..he just copying his gay love who happened to explore snowboarding a few years ago and as is expected,lovelorn,MR.GREEN copies his gay love in whatever he does!

She is an insecure wife whose only way of assuring herself that he cares for her is by FORCING HIM TO DO THINGS he won't do otherwise and when he does it FOR HER,that means he loves her..
LET ME BREAK IT TO YOU LADY..this monster is not capable of REAL HEALTHY LOVE..so yeah!

So, amidst, constantly getting  COUPLE massages done coz she thinks they are great for couple bonding, and going shopping with her , and then going and bowing to GODS THAT HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN, coz she babbles about TRADITION....amidst heeding to  all this controlling behavior from her,HIM INSISTING ,that he WILL HAVE TO SNOWBOARD though SHE HATES SNOW is one way of asserting to himself that he is NOT HER LEASH DOG..(sadly, he is her leash dog, in my
opinion)
IN MY OPINION,love is about FREE WILL,not controlling each other.so yeah!

So, many INSECURE women, weave a thousand webs of pretence and wear a mask of aGREEABILITY to TRAP a man..
I use the word trap coz this whole PRETENCE DURING DATING disgusts me to no end.. Why are people pretending to be someone else all through dating? is dating a GAME TO BE WON?coz,surely,pretence only leads to LOSING in the end,on an emotional level!


Anyways,
Insecure women play a thousand games to PROCURE A HUSBAND..whom they then PLAN TO HAVE AS A LEASH DOG..
I guess, these women DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT HAVING A real RELATIONSHIP.. They just need a MAN AROUND THE HOUSE, to make them do the things, they don't care to do themselves?Which btw, is a whole OTHER TOPIC FOR ANOTHER BLOG ENTRY ON THIS BLOG

So, now GIVEN THE FACT that mr.green now insists on going on snowboarding trips ALONE,and given that she has ALREADY MADE IT CLEAR SHE HATES SNOW,, she can't now go back and pretend to like snow and tag along on those trips without losing EGO...

And yet, given that she is secretly insecure , she then OFCOURSE has to keep an eye on her PRIZED TROPHY HUSBAND... given that he does have so many other women who are his "friends"...
So, she INVENTS this new thing about HOW SHE LOVES HOT SPRING BATHS.... There are a lot of hot spring baths at these snowboarding places he goes! bingo!

Funnily, pretending to like hot spring baths now  allows her to tag along with him on his snowboarding trips.While he snowboards, she CAN PRETEND TO LOVE THE HOT BATH SOAKS and while she does that, around the corner of her eye, she can keep an eye on her husband too..no?
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE INSECURE WOMEN DOING MARRYING MEN THAT DON'T
REALLY LOVE THEM? AND THEN SPENDING A LIFETIME, TIGHTENING THE LEASH
ON THEIR DOG HUSBANDS and constantly needing to keep an eye on them.

life is not be wasted ON PLOTTING AND PLANNING and feeling insecure and keeping an eye on and other such NON-PRODUCTIVE PURSUITS!

So, yeah...when I read this blog entry about her "love for hot spring baths"I HAD A VAGUE SENSE OF NAUSEA and unease too ..then I felt sorry for him and sorry for her too..

yeah,btw,,given that he is gay,,he probably feels more comfortable GIVING HER ORAL SEX and getting off on it,rather than have EYE-TO-EYE sex with a woman and be able to get erect...GAy men pretending to be heterosexual RELY so much on CLOSING THEIR EYES AND GIVING ORALS,while in there head they are fantasizing about things that REALLY GET THEM OFF...
Being gay is just fine,but be self accepting of that fact and stop marrying women,is all I am saying!

Given that her relationship with him is all about CONTROL too..she has to use sex to keep him stuck with her...so,ofcourse,she has to say to ORAL SEX each time he wants it...and in order to be all tip top in shape for oral sex,SOAKS IN PUBLIC HOT SPRING BATHS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA,NO?

The tangled web people weave for themselves and others in DYSFUNCTIONAL MARRIAGES...(puke!)

which is also one reason I AM DISGUSTED BY THE PUBLIC BATH SYSTEM..God knows(i am agnostic) whose genitalia holds what STD secrets...and everyone just gets into one common FILTHY POOL OF WATER...
And the fact that MR.GREEN then licks this perineum that has soaked in such FILTHY PUBLIC BATH WATERS...I am glad I NEVER REALLY KISSED HIM IN REAL LIFE...
GEEE,DISGUSTING when you start calculating who mouth has been where!

so, anyways, coming back to the fact that she is probably a college major and thus has studied basic high school biology in the process, she should have studied enough biology to know the MILESTONES OF PSYCHOSEXUAL DEVELOPMENT(This is 12th grade biology)..The idiot
doesn't even know she is SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT...she talks as if SHE HAS
INVENTED SOMETHING NEW...

She talks about this other lady  WHO CAME TO THE BAR who talked bout how she went to these BATH SOAKS.Apparently,this other lady has a small kid....a boy..and since THE BOY is only 3 years old, the ladies figured that it WAS OKAY to take him to the LADIES bath along with them?...geezus...this is what i would call SCARRING A KID FOR LIFE!

mr.green then  proceeds to describe the child in her blog and the first thing she chooses as worth mentioning is that the kid has , " blue eyes, blonde hair" and I GET ANOTHER BOUT OF NAUSEA!
She is a south east asian with typical south east asian features and her husband,mr.green is a cuacasoid guy with white skin and grey eyes...HE IS HER TROPHY HUSBAND..
I MEAN..even in a child,if  the first thing she chooses worth mentioning is EYE COLOR AND HAIR COLOR,obviously she is one of those gaijin crazy women! she is objectifying white people !

I always get turned off by how much mr.green describes,labels and categorizes women in terms of eye color and breast size and such shit..he is a shallow mother fucking bastard..

Suddenly,I figured,,SHE IS JUST AS SHALLOW as him(the husband)..

mr.green,The husband during one of our early conversations , before he got to see my face, asked me "what is your eye color?"
I mean.i gave him an opportunity to talk to me and the very first set of questions he starts asking are about my eye color and hair color .he WASTES PRECIOUS CONVERSATION TIME asking me mundane details...but that also shows what is MORE important to him in life!
PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN just EYE COLOR AND HAIR COLOR..but for people who are so shallow,that is what matters i suppose!

Anyways,while reading her blog about this kid whom she choosing to classify and describe based on eye color and hair color,FOR A MINUTE, my nausea gave way to MOCKING LAUGTHER...I thought to myself, " THEY DESERVE each other...fucking shallow ignorant crazies..people crazy for a particular"hair color" and "eye color" as if PEOPLE ARE CATALOGUE BARBIES or cars !"

Funnily , also, I remember him, once mentioning how "green eyed caucasoid" men are HARD TO COME BY and so south east asian women would like to STAMP THEIR OWNERSHIP by forcing them to wear an engagement ring.. This he said while describing his own engagement ring.
So, essentially , HE WAS MARKETING HIMSELF as a TROPHY , to begin with?

MAYBE, both of them are RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER...They both think RELATIONSHIPS ARE BUSINESS DEALS...whatever.
So yeah,this was one big reason, I KNEW RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING that I would NEVER
WANT TO MARRY HIM ever...I mean, the "eye color"question from him, totally MADE me not
want to ever be with him ever-shallow ignorant closet gay guy!

So, yeah,let us continue with the story she describes in her blog.so yeah,THESE CRAZY LADIES have taken this 3 year old boy to a bath FULL OF NAKED SOUTH EAST ASIAN WOMEN...Now this lady then observes in the blog that the BOY WAS STARING AT THE BELLY BUTTON of the women and then concludes the blog with a statement about how  sexuality develops by that young age .. WTF!
AT this point of reading her blog, I conclude that SHE IS A CREEP TOO.
.I often, think of him as a CREEP ,and now, I know that his wife is a creep too!LOL.So, she is an equal creep..GEEZUS.
That is just a child,and it is the fucking mistake of the adult women to take him to a bath full of naked people..Taking a 3 year old boy to a bath full of naked women AMOUNTS TO SEXUAL  ABUSE...GET THAT? and then you complain that the kid is staring at BELLY-BUTTONS?
WHAT THE FUCK... This is like  child sexual abusers and pedophiles stating  that the child WANTED THE SEX WITH THEM AND GAVE THEM SIGNALS!
seriously..IDIOT DUMBCHIT...seriously!

Anyways...so yeah...end of angry rant.LOL

So, yeah...HORRIBLE IDEAS OF SEX AND SEXUALITY..and creeps everywhere..and all this disgusts me to no end
Tags:psychosexual_development,psychology,love,sexual_identity,dysfunctional_relationships,dog_on_a_leash,child_abuse,child_sexual_abuse

Silly delusions----Our own version of reality !

Why is this title called silly delusions?
well, i opened up this blog to make a very spontaneous sentence that came up in my head .. Then , instead of putting the thought on here, i first went to my political blog_not so daily ramble blog and then went to be Ultimate vegetarian blog and posted blogs there..
gosh.. I forgot what i had intially wanted to post..
Now finally when i come here .. i cant recall what i wanted to post.
hmmmmm
so yeah..
reality is very relative..All of us might witness the same thing. but our understanding is what guides us and therefore our version of that incident is going to be quite unique.. Each of us have out own version of reality.. The same situation might make us think and assimilate it in a very different way..What guides this unique understanding? it is us..our personality, our past experiences....
Not all of us will have the same exact experiences , coz even as siblings who are brought up in the same house, still there are going to be a lot of times when we face separate situations.
What about twins?
They say, a lot of twins exhibit same personality traits and same behavioral methods too.
As a physician i will have insist that though we might be quick in pointing out the fact that genetic material might somehow govern one's personality..it is still possible is that the fact that both twins face the same environment might be a factor that moulds their personality over time.
Hmmmm.. so yeah.. we all have our own versions of reality, and to add up to that,, memories are deceptive too.As in, our brain might make its own version of the reality while creating a memory, which might not be true .
Anyways, inspite of all this rambling, I still can't figure what i initially came here to blog about..It was a very clever sentence.A very simple single sentence which was capable of conveying so much..
now, with all this rambling, I still haven't managed to get that sentence out .
that sentence i surely going to sprout out again in my thoughts in a day or two.. I hope at that time, i have the intelligence to type it out immediately.

Trust is such a fickle thing

For one moment when your mind is filled with unquestioned trust, everything this person says sounds true..The tears, the emotion, the hurt in the eyes look all so true.
And suddenly for a moment, you go in your head,"Wait a min. would this mean this instead of that? "
seeds of distrust are sown in the mind , upon which every previous tear that looked real now looks like the ones that came out of a different reason.Ya know.Trust is like that...It colors the vision and the perspective

Knowing when to walk away !

I guess it is a very smart thing to walk away at the right time and avoid the damage.Avoid damage to one's own soul so that one is not left seething in anger that one didn't need to subject oneself to such a mess.
Hmmmm
Many of us don't walk away at the right time primarily coz we are wridden by an ego that doesn't allow us to accept with a certain amount of humiliation that we were wrong, we were wrong to choose to get into the situation in the first place.We just want to pretend it is all right and get deeper and deeper into the mess out of sheer cockyness.hmmmm
Knowing the right moment to walk away and say with all humiliation "pooh, that was a close call" is the smartest thing to do.
But yeah, sometimes we also don't get out,because we are so distraught that we did a mistake in the first place, we sit there and squalour and squalour some more in that slushy quicksand of a mess, we only sink further. We are so transfixed in the ugliness of someone else , in their pettiness and you can't believe it that you fell for such a fraud, that you sit there and sink somewhere.
Either ways, there is no time to sit and squalour or wilt or glow like an amber in anger.The moment you sense that this is not you signed up for, forget the ego, forget the shock factor, forget the honor, forget the image, just run..run for you life.That is the only way you can save your soul.
Otherwise it ends up tarnished and sad and tired...hmmmmm,,
Written by Dr.A.R aka Le Cinq BlogCopyright 2008 Le Cinq Blog aka Dr.A.R All rights reserved.No part of my blog is to be copypasted or reproduced in any form original or plagiarized on any other site or outside of the internet with my prior written permission.You can link to my blog only after permission.Under no condition are you allowed to post any part of my work including a sampling .You can only post a link and that too only after my permission and that is as much as you get .If you still lack integrity or self respect and post slightly modified forms of my blog entries, I shall come after you and haunt you -cough cough -hunt you down !