The percentages of giving me a headache

The percentages...
The incidence of
The prevelance of
The rates
The rate increase
the difference in rates
The percentage of this race or that race in alchoholics
The percentage of all child abuse cases that are females
The percetange of all suicides that are adolescents
The percentage of decrease in death rates in people above 85
The percentage of pregancies in sexually active teenage girls
The percentage of AIDS case who are fully blown
Seriously, the percentages
The percentages are just giving me a headache.
Gosh..yet,, I have some precentages to assimilate..
Gosh, the headache, the headache, it throbs.
It just throbs.
The percentages..Can some stop the percentages from increasing?
Please?
Written byDr.A.R aka Le Cinq Blog
Copyright 2008 All rights reserved

Clearing up the Living room clutter

Written by Dr.A.R aka Le Cinq BlogCopyright 2008 Le Cinq Blog aka Dr.A.R All rights reserved.
After weeks of just staring in disgust around me in the living room, finally, Finally, I cleaned it up.I have to clear it right at the beginning that i am not one of those filthy slobby people at all.But time and again, either my kitchen or the bedroom or the living room sure ends up with things all over the place.I like spic and span places,not that i am a neat freak, but i do like things placed neatly so that i don't feel like throwing up each time i have a look at my home.
So yeah, for one, i don't have enough storage space in my home in the form of shelves.I never puchased any solid furniture since when i first moved in, I was gonna stay only for a year in that city...hmmmm. I just wanted to limit my heavy furniture purchase to nada, just so that i can avoid the sentimental blues that accompany parting with something i have used at home.I am stupidly sentimental about stuff.
Anyways, suddenly ,coffee mugs get left behind , then a plate with the last smears of hummus that i just polished off gets left out sitting there on the table and then the hummus dries out on the plate, while i have moved on to more adventurous things like tortilla chips with salsa or pototo fritters..Hmmmm.so then, i gather up the week's newspapers and then read them all on one fine day of idleness..then ofcourse, sometimes i leave that pile of newspapers right there on the floor..Then ofcourse , suddenly the impulse to paint occurs to me..Then i do a bit of oil paints and when i am done, I pack everything back up except the canvas or sketchbook just to let the paint dry up before i can close the book..Needless to say, the brushes are also left to dry..yeah..we end up with paint book and brushes lying around too which i conveniently forget to pack up once the paint dries..Coz ofcourse i have moved on to other things like knitting the rest of my scarf..I finish up the scarf but leave behind the bag of wool balls lying around near the couch.Then ofcourse suddenly i have the craving for popcorn...after eating most of the popcorn, the unpopped corn grits still lay there at the bottom of the bowl and yeah , the bowl is precariously placed beside the TV and quietly forgotten.
All this comes to a halt when too many things are precariously placed here and there and i have to limit my walking space and ofcourse, a few favorite ceramic bowls that had been sitting on an edge then fall down and break..LOL
Finally, i cleaned it all up,,Infact, i figured that putting away even the meagre sidetables and stuff is what is going to save my soul..I cleared up everything..Now i have enough visible floor space so that i can dance around(but sadly i can't go beserk with the dancing coz i live on the topmost (top most but one) apartment of the highrise and the people downstairs don't even want to hear my footsteps.Ofcourse, now i have enough floor space to do my morning stretch exercises..
Yay, with my cleaning up,, It almost looks like there is so much space available now on the surface of earth..it feels great !
BTW,,If you thought i was a teenager, i have to mention that i was a teenager ten years ago ...poor me..I still have a teenager hangover.
Written by Dr.A.R aka Le Cinq BlogCopyright 2008 Le Cinq Blog aka Dr.A.R All rights reserved.No part of my blog is to be copypasted or reproduced in any form original or plagiarized on any other site or outside of the internet with my prior written permission.You can link to my blog only after permission.Under no condition are you allowed to post any part of my work including a sampling .You can only post a link and that too only after my permission and that is as much as you get .If you still lack integrity or self respect and post slightly modified forms of my blog entries, I shall come after you and haunt you -cough cough -hunt you down !

An incomplete life

BlogCopyright 2008 Le Cinq Blog aka Dr.A.R All rights reserved
The definition of an incomplete life !
hmmmm..Sometimes i just look at other people and say to myself,"Boy ! what an incomplete life.To me i view them as having missed out on this and that..on having missed out on a college education and on missing out moment of pride career wise and what not"
And then suddenly the other day I sat there and mused that perhaps some other people view my life as incomplete when they consider things that they have done in life and have learned from them in some strange way and i have not..
That is when it dawned on me and these thoughts crossed my mind, much as many other spectacular sentences come across to me esp at moments when i am far too lazy to jot them down.So this time around, the lazy ass me just got up and grabbed a notebook and jotted down my idea of an incomplete life.
EVERY LIFE IS INCOMPLETE IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER.IF AT ALL I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF COMPLETENESS, I WOULD RATHER CHOOSE A SPECTACULAR INCOMPLETENESS THAN A VERY ORDINARY COMMON TYPE OF INCOMPLETENESS.
HMMMM
Written by Dr.A.R aka Le Cinq BlogCopyright 2008 Le Cinq Blog aka Dr.A.R All rights reserved.No part of my blog is to be copypasted or reproduced in any form original or plagiarized on any other site or outside of the internet with my prior written permission.You can link to my blog only after permission.Under no condition are you allowed to post any part of my work including a sampling .You can only post a link and that too only after my permission and that is as much as you get .If you still lack integrity or self respect and post slightly modified forms of my blog entries, I shall come after you and haunt you -cough cough -hunt you down !

He is not you ,nobody is you, you are you ,and just you are are you !

I sometimes look at other people and muse. Very few people remind me of me.This person for the longest time looked like a mirror image of me.Every lil action reminded me of me.
You know what, finally, i realized that he is not me.
He will never be me.
Nobody is like anybody else.
So, yeah, I must stop sweating it , wanting to 'help' him out by preventing him from doing the exact same things that i did at one point of time and ofcourse those things turned out to be things not worth it.
Everyone has a right to go ahead and do their own mistakes(if at all they are mistakes for them in their lives) and learn from them.
I am myself, they are themselves, and no matter how much the similarity or apparent similarity ("apparent" being very key here) in personality, everybody's situation is so different .Therefore, the plans that i acted upon when i was 21-26, the one that prolly didn't work out for me, but if he at 31 is doing the same thing or apparently what looks like the same thing to me , it is his ballgame.

Do i know what he did from 21-26? no..Maybe he did completely different things and learned different lessons from them and now those lessons have guided him to behave this way at 31, this way, which i imagine is the exact same way i behaved when i was 21...Ya know..It is all confusiing and very relative.
Maybe he is not like me at all.
Maybe what he is doing is not like what i am doing or did, at all.
Maybe he is like me and he is doing the exact same 'mistake' i did, but then, his situation might be so different that the mistake might actually work for him.
No two people are really ever the same.

Even if they are the same, and even if this guy is the exact same as me, I need to stop being the mentor.NO one needs a mentor.Everyone is their own mentor.

Every adult is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and they must take care of themselves adequately too.

If they don't take care of themselves that is, they learn lessons, valuable or invaluable depending on whether they prevent the lessons from being needed to be reemphasized over and over again.

It suddenly dawned on me , after a couple of years of thinking that this person is like me ..eventually, that no one is like anyone else.

Maybe it is just that i like him so much that i got carried away thinking or wanting to believe that he is like me.AFter all , each of us wants to associate ourselves with what seemingly looks like a great story to be part of.LOL

Maybe i am a great story on my own. Why look for other people and other people's stories to be part of.

One could just learn from a story by being a mere spectator .one doesn't need to be a part of it.

I don't need to associate with people whom i only get to see from far and imagine they are like me.

Most likely they are not like me..
It is only that i want them to be like me or imagine them to be like me, especially since i like this person very much.

Btw,it takes close interaction, one or one , to actually know about another person .


Why exactly am i rambling like an idiot?
Well, i just got blessed with a revelation to my semi delusional mind(this is not any pathological delusion or anything, but most of us , believe it or not, try to ease ourselves through life with the help of small and big delusions) that i am on my own in this world and so is everyone else.

I better stop imagining myself as this guardian angel of this other person, coz , well ! I am not.No one is.hmmmmm

So, yeah, this person is not like me, prolly never was, never will be.I need to stop fretting over this person coz i barely know them.

There is still tons of ramble left in me.But that is for another time, for another blog entry.Coz right now, i just have to go.

I am just going to let go of this image of this person in my head, \coz, that is all it is, an image.

I need to stop wasting my precious energies on trying to connect with people i barely know.I better let go, all for my own good.

Knowing when to walk away !

I guess it is a very smart thing to walk away at the right time and avoid the damage.Avoid damage to one's own soul so that one is not left seething in anger that one didn't need to subject oneself to such a mess.
Hmmmm
Many of us don't walk away at the right time primarily coz we are wridden by an ego that doesn't allow us to accept with a certain amount of humiliation that we were wrong, we were wrong to choose to get into the situation in the first place.We just want to pretend it is all right and get deeper and deeper into the mess out of sheer cockyness.hmmmm
Knowing the right moment to walk away and say with all humiliation "pooh, that was a close call" is the smartest thing to do.
But yeah, sometimes we also don't get out,because we are so distraught that we did a mistake in the first place, we sit there and squalour and squalour some more in that slushy quicksand of a mess, we only sink further. We are so transfixed in the ugliness of someone else , in their pettiness and you can't believe it that you fell for such a fraud, that you sit there and sink somewhere.
Either ways, there is no time to sit and squalour or wilt or glow like an amber in anger.The moment you sense that this is not you signed up for, forget the ego, forget the shock factor, forget the honor, forget the image, just run..run for you life.That is the only way you can save your soul.
Otherwise it ends up tarnished and sad and tired...hmmmmm,,
Written by Dr.A.R aka Le Cinq BlogCopyright 2008 Le Cinq Blog aka Dr.A.R All rights reserved.No part of my blog is to be copypasted or reproduced in any form original or plagiarized on any other site or outside of the internet with my prior written permission.You can link to my blog only after permission.Under no condition are you allowed to post any part of my work including a sampling .You can only post a link and that too only after my permission and that is as much as you get .If you still lack integrity or self respect and post slightly modified forms of my blog entries, I shall come after you and haunt you -cough cough -hunt you down !

He is , He Isn't !

HE IS ?He isn't?
Written by Dr.A.R aka Le Cinq Blog
Copyright 2008 Le Cinq Blog Dr.A.R All rights reserved
He is?
He isn't?
He is what he says he is ?
He isn't?
He is what he was ?
He isn't?
He is what i think he is?
He isn't?
He is what he actually thinks he is?
He isn't ?
He is there sometimes?
He isn't?
He is there always?
He isn't?
He is what i get to see of what he is ?
He isn't?
He is what he does?
He isn't?
He is ?
Yes he is
P.S: Two days later;
you know what,
I just realized,
He isn't !

Written by Dr.A.R aka Le Cinq Blog
Copyright 2008 Le Cinq Blog aka Dr.A.R
All rights reserved.
No part of my blog is to be copypasted or reproduced in any form original or plagiarized on any other site or outside of the internet with my prior written permission.You can link to my blog only after permission.Under no condition are you allowed to post any part of my work including a sampling .You can only post a link and that too only after my permission and that is as much as you get .If you still lack integrity or self respect and post slightly modified forms of my blog entries, I shall come after you and haunt you -cough cough -hunt you down !

Have you ever pined for a city?

Have you ever pined for a city?
Have you sat there and remembered a city;
with nostalgia and a certain pining?
You see,
I pine for this city.
I do.

I am sure some of you out there;
have experienced this same kind of pining.
I have never experienced this pining;
for anything else or anyone else.
Yeah, I had a pining once;
when i was 17 to become a doctor.
Thank god! i eventually became a doctor;
and put an end to that pining.

This city.
I pine for it.
It hurts so much to not live there,
To not walk those streets,
To not breathe that air,
To not sail those waters,
I love those streets,
I love those walls of ancient buildings.
OH, I so pine for ya.
I hope i get to you someday.
Written by Dr.A.R
July 5, 2008

BeeGees and Christmas trees

Hmmmm.The beegees, their music, the distinctly semi feminine voices.
All i want to say is that their music sure has touched me.
I clearly remember a couple of sentences from one of of their songs
"When we were small and christmas trees were tall" and the song proceeds to "Now we are tall and christmas trees are small"
Just as i type these lyrics, I start humming those songs and it transports me to my first year at medschool.Used to listen to Beegees and Elvis a lot back then.Hmmmm.

Kenny G and Magic !

Kenny G and magic ! I was first introduced to Kenny G's magic more than a decade ago (15yrs ago?Not sure ) when i watched the grammy's award night ,way back then. Those were some days..when i was just starting to be a teenager.I went an purchased some Kenny G audio cassettes with the money i saved from my Gas money..Hmmm....Kenny G has this magical soothing effect on me..where within minutes of starting to listening to the sax... i slowly go into the semi hypnotic mode and then after sometime , all i am doing is closing my eyes , and letting out satisfactory semigroans(no obscenity or sexual connotations intended at all) .The Saxaphone by itself has a calming effect i suppose, but kenny somehow adds the depths to those already calming tones.Years went by after that , and over those years, i moved on to Elvis, and REM and George Michael( i know i know..I moved to artists in a retrospective manner- but, hey, I am born much later than these artists, I still have the right to go back and discover their music and love them, don't I?), I move on to savage garden and a many other singers, songwriters and composers and As of now, IN 2008, MY LAPTOP still has kenny somewhere on its music collection but i never get myself around to actually listening to him anymore.Just three days ago ,that changed, Finally ! I went back and looked at all my music archives, dished out the kenny G and clicked on PLAY, and within two minutes I was back in that semi nirvana state where i am going all "OH , wow, OH my god ,this is so great ! "

This is how my personals page might look !

I have no idea which internet perverts are going to read this and target me .
but hey, Please take this blog entry with a pinch of salt, K?
I wrote this entry myself , so i don't want anyone lifting off this material and sending chain emails of it saying "Hey, Look this is such a fun read".

I totally abhor it when people steal well written stuff off the net and pass it on like nobody's business.Anyways ,

My personals page might read something like this
Wanted a young tall handsome man not older than 33,single, never ever married,Not in a present relationship of any kind(however vague or undefinedly ambiguous it might be) with no children from previous relationships,yeah btw, Not gay or bisexual or bicurious(we have a lot of those ) and who has six pack abs(but no man boobs-even the ones who work out too much end up with flat man boobs) and who has a postgraduate college degree and someone who is able to understand and assimilate well written words in a book or newspaper or otherwise, Is able to appreciate nature ,Is environmentally conscious , Doesn't eat fauna as food, Respects every life as much as his own, Understands the concept of monogamy and looks at a relationship as a colloboration between equals,Someone who will try anything ethical once or twice ,hmmmmmmmmm..yeah, i don't want any nasty smokers and drinkers .I am essentially looking for a person with a good liver and lungs and no cancer risks aka someone who is a teetotaller..LOL
I am pretty sure some married guy who has a pot belly with beer beside him is reading this while taking a puff and yelling back at his wife while his child is wailing in the background and is coyly getting ready to comment on this blog entry saying how much he so fits this bill..

I wonder why people think it is okay to lie on the internet..People forgive themselves for doing all kindsa jerky things as long as it is with someone on the internet..gosh !

People need to remember that people on the internet are real people too ...just like they are ...Anyways.....i gotta go

The vagabond

The vagabond.
I feel like one
I feel sad that i feel like one.
but i feel like i am wobbling around in the sea with no anchoring.
I feel like i am loitering around with a very vague sense of purpose, a whole lot of ambition but very unsystematic approach with little respect for my own time.If that makes any sense.
I feel like a vagabond.And i don't feel fine.

Written by Dr.A.R copyright 2008

About this blog

I started writing poetry when i was eleven.

I started writing in general when i was ten.

I remember the exact moment too.

I was in fifth grade and it was a snack break and i tore three sheets from my notebook and then folded those pages further and tore them neatly .I finally stapled those tiny pages together to make a book.

I then instintively proceeded to write about myself and my family.

It was so funny.I did it coz i felt this need to write something down.

HMMM..That is exactly why i say "People who need writer's workshops are not real writers" Writing is not about straining and praciticing to be able to eek out a decent work of writing.Writing is not about straining in constipation.Writing is about verbal diarrhea...hmmmm

Poetry comes easily to me.Infact , newer poems keep popping up in head every now and then , far too many times in a day.It gets so overwhelming at times because i am not in a position to quickly jot down what pops up in my head each time .So , finally at the age of seventeen, i decided that i was going to make a mental effort to stop writing poetry altogether.I just wanted to make an attempt to consciously stop those newer verses from popping up in my head..I hadn't written poetry for ten years since then. Finally, after i started blogging roughly three years ago , i just gave in and decided to write a few poems again.I realized that the poems never stopped popping up in head.All i was attempting to do was pretending that they don't occur to me and that is no good.

I did post a handful of poems in one of my older blogs in another blogsite.I posted them under my pseudonym.

I am not sure i am going to repost those here again .Either ways.This blog is all about my poems, my fictional work and my writing.

Please don't plagiarize this work of mine.