Honest interactions

huh?
see, now the interaction that is happening is happening based on honesty.
yeah?
Not like, you saying something ambiguous and then me misinterpreting
it and then feeling bad or misunderstanding.
ya know.
We need this interaction..this honesty , to dignify things.coz you owe
me that information.yeah?
get it?
Coz i am here, I don't have a fiance. or BF that I can go back and sleep with like nothing ever happened with anyone else and a fairy tale ensues..yeah?
So I am here,ALONE, tossing in my bed wondering about this and that and
this and that and what happened when and all that..yeah?
I have no emotional comfort while I am left alone bearing the brunt of someone else's lies .yeah?
So, knowing the answers of what exactly happened when, kinda gives me clarity .yeah
Helps me understand your psyche better and  thus rage less after I gain a perspective as to what can lead a person to do such irresponsible acts and drag other people into their shit without a second thought.
Knowing why people do the shit they do the results of which you have to bear, helps you get stronger and then move on .yeah?
Which I why i ask,,I still ask a thousand questions.You owe me the answers coz you are the source of this shit i am feeling right now in my heart.

Weeping tank with a Hole!

 The Weeping tank with a Hole
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permissionYou have this uncontrollable desire for me
I can feel that desire..
I can feel it every time.
It  gets to you after sometime..

Then it is like you made a hole in a water tank
The hole is made;
The water is gonna keep flowing out ,
till finally the tank is empty;
Or it stops earlier
if someone quickly comes
and watches the weeping tank
and plugs the weeping hole!
So,Ya know!
I am the weeping tank with a hole!
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

Standing alone left to wonder

Standing alone left to wonder
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
Yes,
we have that sexual chemistry.
Yes,
we have that connection..
But ,
Don't I want to first know the whole story?
There is a third person involved here..
she is a probably a nice lady too.
Probably pretty too,
Probably talented too ,
So,Ours is not a simple passionate love story.yeah?
And, don't I want to know the details about you?
Don't  I want to know the truth about every situation?

Don't I want to know about all that i was left to stand alone and
wonder?

Indeed I need to know , right?
Coz at the end of the day,
I am here without another soul beside me each night.
You have her,
Even if you stop talking to me
But I am here left wondering
Under the burden of someone else's eager mistakes,
None of my own mistakes but  because of your eager mistakes..yeah?
So,at least, I need to know ;
Everything!

I am trying to understand this whole thing.
About why You didn't tell me about her ..at the right time..
A  right time  at which had I known
a lot of damage to my soul could have been avoided.
You by passed that RIGHT TIME.
And I suffer now
And no apology makes it good for me .
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

You walked me into the woods!

You walked me into the woods!
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
You held my hand
and led me into the woods
and after entering the
woods,
suddenly you say,,
btw,, i have another lady with me .
and i am like, :what?
and then we walk some more in the woods
and then i want to ask you questions,
i want you to draw me a map;
to go back out of the woods,
but you never give me a map
and you never answer the questions
and then quickly walk away ..
I am here in the woods,
all alone,
not knowing the way back out..
====================
Actually, yes,
I wanted to go into the woods with you..
Coz i thought you wanted me
and i felt the sincerity
I didn't know you had another woman tucked in like that!
Yes, I wanted to go into the woods .
Yes,Is that so wrong?
Think of it in a scenario;
where you are single too ;
and you wanted me;
and i wanted you,
.and then we hold hands
and walk into the woods,,
would that be so
wrong?
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

Verbalization and Judging

Verbalization and JudgingCopyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
It is not about verbalizing the judgment..
I used to judge earlier;
coz I didn't understand,
that in some situations,
with some people,
It is too deep..
Now that i know
how out of control some things can be..
I won't judge..
coz if I judge
I will surely verbalize..
Having said that ,
It doesn't mean
that I won't judge all people and all circumstances
but I can at least give them the benefit of the doubt.
from now on!. ya know..
I will give them the benefit of the doubt
prior to starting to judge their situation and lifechoices
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

Draw that out of you?

Draw that out of you?
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
Draw that out of you?
why?
please tell me;
that i am the only one;
The only one so far
that was able to draw that out of you..
I am so scared to know;
that i may not  be the only one!
But, please say I am the only one!
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

Pearls,fingers and poetry

Pearls,fingers and poetry
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
Pearls?
Your beautiful lines.
that turn me on to no end..
and how uninhibited you are when you say them
those pearls..
the lines..
sometimes single words.
they make me go crazy for ya
and make me want you
more and more
and the poetry flows
from my fingers
in response to them
those pearls

It takes a lil bit of emotional teasing ;
for someone to be able to evoke my poetry fingers
and when they do,
I instantly type out poetry.
Without thinking.
I just type and type
And the first draft is the best draft.
Beautiful lines.
Pearls
yes,they are mine..
But someone needs to unlock the door
for the pearls to roll out of my fingers

Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

Pearls and sand

Pearls and sand
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permissionno matter what
That is all we have
We need to cherish it ..
As time runs like sand from a fist,
I want to gather as many pearls
as i possibly can
from you
and want to give you
as much as I  possibly can
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

Impending

Impending
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
Sometimes i feel like this whole thing is a race against time
I feel this urgency to try and feel something in the very short period
allotted..
I feel that pressure.
A strange sense of urgency and
fear of impending loss.
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

A bird in hand

A bird in hand
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
An ordinary bird in hand,
Is worth two golden birds in the bush,
So,please take the ordinary bird in your hand,
And place it on your head,
So she can shit on your head everyday,
And let the golden bird in the bush,
To fly away to farther golden horizons.
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

The Rollercoaster

 The Roller-Coaster Ride
is a roller coaster  ride
it will after all the ups and downs
come back to the point where it started
with no end result.

I want to

 A minor pre-note about this poem:
I thought a hundred times before deciding  to  go ahead and actually post this poem on a public blog which is frequented by a lot of people(read:no real privacy)
This poem is actually an email i sent to someone.Of course, since i don't mention their name, I am not breaching their privacy in any given way.But by posting this very personal intimate poem, i am breaching my own privacy.
But in a way, By posting this poem on a public blog, I forever acknowledge that these are some real feelings that i felt for a real person at a given point of time.The feeling are real, coz i felt them , truly, even though possibly i felt them only that given moment.But by acknowledging that these feelings are real from my side, I take responsibility for my own true feelings and with this assumption of responsibility i somehow seek to liberate myself.Sigh.
Though the feelings are real, possibly the circumstances associated with such feelings are quite surreal, and tough and unreal in a weird kind of way.so.whatever.( again, i do not' want people making cheap twisted assumptions about the circumstances.Trust me,they are not as twisted as you are gonna imagine)
(Also , I don't want any creeps jacking off after reading this poem.This is a personal moment between me and some other person whom i chose to be with willingly.Don't be a peeping tom deriving creepy pleasure just from our personal moment.Please just see the love between us and "awww" at it and move on.thanks)
======================
I want to
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
There are days;
when I want to go out with you;
wherever you take me.,
ya know;
just sit there and watch you do what you enjoy.

On some days;
I want to introduce you to reading books;
my favorite books;
Read them out to you,
And then let you rest your head on my chest;
as i sit against a tree;
And you sit leaning over me.

I want to kiss you over and over,
so many times these days.
You know;
that kinda kiss,
where I slightly press the inside of my lips onto the inside of your lips,
I have never felt that for anyone,
kiss.kiss kiss.

I want to slowly unbutton your white shirt,
That white shirt you wore that day,
and kiss you on your chest.

I want to hold your hand;
all the time.
I so want to hold your hand;
all the fucking time these days!
I want to hold on to you too.

I don't know why i feel so much for you;
But I do!


I want to cook dinners WITH you;(not FOR you).
I want to spend mornings with you,
I want to spend nights with you,,
evenings and noons too,
I want to make hot chocolate for you,
I want to feed you spaghetti;
And I want to kiss you while you are still eating it.

It is strange that i feel so much for a person,
but i think i do ,
coz I perceive that you do feel the same for me too;
in the same intensity.
I know you do,
that is why I want you
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

You love him

 You love him
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
You never loved me,
You love him,
you loved him,
I am just the pacification tool,
you want to give me second grade love,
left overs from a first grade love for him,
I don't want no leftovers,
I need first hand love hot off the stove as it cooks,
You don't love me,
you just love him,
maybe he doesn't love you,
or maybe he does too,
maybe he loves me ,
or maybe he doesn't,
But you don't love me,
you just love him.
I am just the pacification tool,
And i misread it all,
coz you never tell me how much you love,
and i want not left overs,
i want the first serving.
you don't love me,
you just love him.
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

Sitting with our backs touching

Sitting with our backs touching!
Copyright(c)2010 Dr.A aka lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce or use without prior written permission
Sitting with our backs touching,
We interact and talk and talk,
We whisper suggestions and advice to each other,
We share secrets,mumble disagreements,
Our ears hear each other in agony sometimes,
We feel vibrations when the other person laughs and giggles.


Our backs touching,
We never face each other,
We are always talking, but never look,
We keep looking at others,
having others.

We sit there with our backs touching,
We have each others' back,
We support each other,
But why won't we turn around;
And look at each other?

And let the eyes and souls mingle.

We are so similar,
yet we look for others,
Why won't we turn and face other?
Why?
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog

The gossamer strings of silver

The Gossamer strings of Silver
 Copyright(C)2010 Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce/use without prior written permission


The Gossamer Strings of silver
I walk away,
Taking off the tight nooses of visible rope,
opening the locks and the doors.

Walk away,
Into the open once again,
Breathe the fresh air,
Breathe again,
Remember the suffocation;
That changed me as a person,
Made me the weeping bird in the cage.

I walk way,
And then in the sunshine,
I turn around,
To take one last look,
And what i find;
are tiny silver strings of gossamer,
Still connecting me back to the web.

The spider's web,
They still exist,
I can see them,
Those thin strong silver strings of  gossamer.

I see them shine in the sunshine,
They still connect me to my cage.
I stand there,
I watch.

I want to snap those strings of gossamer,
walk away,
Yet , i stand there,
And watch them in amazement;
At how beautifully they shine in the sunshine.
Those shiny silver strings of Gossamer.
Written by Dr.A aka Lecinqblog