It was very very very very very tough for me..to stop myself from doing something impulsively
Anyways,
I lay there on my bed..eyes open and after calming down much I realized the following,
" It is not due to you at all..You really didn't have anything to do with what they were already feeling .Their feelings, they were due to changes that happened completely unconnected to you..It was unconnected to you..It might look like it is connected to you,but NO.They might make it look like it is connected to you , especially if they suspect that by pretending that way they can score with you.But the truth is, you don't figure here anywhere ..You were not responsible for any decisions they took..because you were not responsible for the situations and the feelings that happened to them.
They are in a special situation where a whole set of planned sure things in their life were taken away.They got miserable due to those changes unconnected to you.And then they made decisions because of that..and because they made those decisions they had to further give up other people that they had to get rid of ..because of the decisions they made..So, it has got nothing to do with you at all..ABSOLUTELY NOTHING..
I am just a small part,,figuring in the fringes...some tiny lil incentive that happened accidentally..that is it..
The decisions are because of that sadness and the further decisions to get rid of other people is for the convenience that comes with getting rid of them--allowing scope for more flexible decisions..It has got nothing to do with you at all."
So,for me,the first day of impulse control has given me something>>>CLARITY..
Yes..I am not significant enough to have prompted them to make any decisions at all..But coz they figured that they might get some if they said so and made it seem so to me,TAKE ME ON A GUILT TRIP,now that they are doing it anyways for their own other reasons, they said so or made it look so..
But in reality ,the sadness and pining and confusion is for someone else.. that old friend who walked off to distant lands...that is all there is to this..
I AM NOT SIGNIFICANT. I NEVER WILL BE AND I NEVER WANT TO BE EITHER. END OF STORY.
CLARITY
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