Impulse control:Exercise-Dealing with panic and withdrawal

Had a very severe bout of withdrawal..I so wanted to just drop the resolve and just start sending all the emails I have been saving as drafts.
I cried too coz it was too much to not do it.
It was too much,the energy of passion, emotional attachment, fear of loss,not giving yourself the interaction that obviously touched your soul in some intense way.
I cried loudly.Then,well,I did something else(indescribable right now for this blog entry) and then,cried some more..
The moment passed.No emails were sent.
But I have to do this..Coz i have had similar moments even when i had no TIME OUT .I mean, crying on a Time out because you miss them is one thing, Crying without a time out coz the other person wants to see how important they are to you by making you cry by withholding attention is another thing.
The crying without a time out was when there was deliberate withholding from the other side.Doing that is called trying to see how much you matter to the other person and that is cruel and then you understand that withdrawal was a better idea.Insecure idiots resort to such unhealthy patterns of trying to understand how important to the other. Healthy people just ask you, "how important am I to you? coz you are very important to me" Then i would probably say,"yes you are very important enough for me to have delayed submitting my work project coz i needed to spend time interacting with you"
But no, you choose to use unhealthy means.whatever!
So, I decided on a TIME OUT for the reason that, "Why not cry alone without giving the satisfaction of ego boosting to someone else who deliberately withholds communication as a way of getting back at you or as a way to pacify insecurity to see how much you will try and try and make them finally communicate"
So, yeah..I cried.This crying  is not  some silly ass romantic pining.This is some neurotransmitters going haywire.
Ideally,there was no need to cry.Yes,you miss them,they f*&^ng miss you too.But this is a TIME OUT..to see how it works without each other.. so why cry? seriously!! Geez...both parties sitting and crying in their respective apartments coz they miss the other one badly but still want a TIME OUT is like , I don't know, PATHETIC!
Why did i cry though?
But,see,the crying, it was so out of  my control.The pain, it was meaningless, reasonless too.But i cried,very loudly.So, there ya go.
Yes, Impulse control was a success..No emails were sent..they are still sitting in drafts.
I need to do this.I need to find out what this really is,coz it never worked and I DO need a time out.
Coz, it never really worked.
It started off all wrong,It went on all wrong.
It never was right.
So, I need this TIME OUT to find out how wrong it is,before it gets any more wrong and more mistakes get compounded.
so well!
I need this 10 days TIME OUT HAPPEN..10 days..yes, I need these 10 days. I better give myself a complete 10 days time out.I owe it to myself.