Breaking off the dilemma

Breaking off the dilemma

Written by LeCinqBlog Copyright(c)2008-2009.

Breaking the dilemma,

Happens at the most unexpected moments,

Long after you have tried to get out of the circle,

Circle of dilemma,

Long after the struggle has died out to escape,

You are resigned to the fate of your addictions,

Addictions of miracles, of hope, of serendipity,

And there it dawns when all is calm again,

The knowledge of those lil quirks,

The sudden knowledge of their inner person,

Just lets you stop loving, stop wanting them,

They are no good,

They are bad alright!

And just like that, 

your dilemma breaks,

Dilemma between two people,

it breaks,

Because both are no good.

Not equally bad,

But not good enough in their own ways,

And then you are glad,

The dilemma lasted for as long as it did,

Because without the dilemma you would have chosen one,

And either one of them would have been not good enough,

For one moment,

you stand, you thank the dilemma,

Then you walk on,

lonely, out of the circle, in a straight line

By LeCinqblog.Please do not reproduce without written permission.

Loving two people at the same time-Two timing?

Okay, first off, I am not really physically two timing at all. The thing though is , the morality beacon that I am ,for the first time in my life I actually am mentally, In my mind alone , actually conflicted between being attracted to two men at the same time. Hmmmm. I always yap on all my five different blogs(look to the right on the blog roll to find the rest of the four)about morality, loyalty , ethics yada yada yada blah blah blah.

  I do practice what i preach mostly, especially in terms of ethics, responsibility and what not. Which is why, this present state of mind bothers me.

How can I truly truly find two men equally good enough? ( in different ways of appeal though).

 I mean, each of them is special in their own way. very special . very very talented and very special and very amicable in their own way. Now, I just can't choose. what do I do?
 Btw, I am not going out or dating either one of them.

 I just , in my own silly mind , try to see whom i must choose (in my head alone), to fanstasize further. But naaah, first time in my life, I just am not able to chooose. Or, is it perhaps that  I am not able to choose coz as good as each of them is, Neither of them is the bestest ever for me to want to give up the other?

 Do they complement each other so much,so that having both of them in my fantasy plans gives me a complete man? seriously, for the first time I am able to understand the psyche behind why some people might "two time" when it comes to companionship.

I don't know.
Not that i am justifying two timing or anything. Not that given a chance I would date both of them or some such.

If at all it comes down to putting actions to thoughts, I prolly might "freeze out" and not respond to either one of them till i figure out whom i am gonna choose. I have this "clamped up" factor in me when it comes to times of utter indecision. I just sit there and clamp down till the moment of indecision passes. 

   But,for one moment i could vaguely understand why people take the easy way out and two time rather than sit it out like me.

Having to decide on just one out of the two equally appealing choices is a crisis situation , and while people like me might sit out the crisis rather than do something "scum-baggish" like "two timing", a few other people just are immature and date two people at the same time.
Needless to say such two timing will end in a lot of heartache for all parties involved.

So, yeah, till one of these guys does a mistake, I am hanging here . Trying to decide. Trying hard to decide so much so that i have a headache each time i try to think about it. LOL.

My own piece of sky !

Okay, the problem with living in apartments complexes which have apartment complexes as neighbouring buildings is that, each time you open your window all you can see is the window of some other apartment adjacent to you. This can be very distressing for someone especially when one grew up in a silent suburban home with lots of fruit trees growing around the house. 

Anyways, mine was one of the topmost apartments in my building wherein i could still see the sky when i opened my window and door .. I felt very privileged till of course my adjacent home owners decided to raze out their home and built an apartment complex similar to ours and guess what, they now have an apartment right in front my window. hmm../the only consolation though is that , i can still raise my head above and have a lil piece of sky still visible between the adjacent high rise buildings.As long as i can have my lil piece of sky, it is all gonna alright. It is gonna be alright. sighs!