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Thursday, December 27, 2012

SHARING MY BOOK LIST WITH HIM-July 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U

SHARING MY BOOK LIST WITH HIM-July 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U

===========================

please note: that publishing someone else's emails,letters,journals,personal pics,videos WITHOUT THEIR PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION is a LEGAL OFFENCE...( even if just on blogs or even if it is just redistribution to third parties via email, facebook and other such social media), (even if the aforementioned materials were shared with you by the writer or actual owner themselves).Please take WRITTEN PERMISSION from all parties involved prior to publishing such content.

Please also note that here in these blogs I am only posting EXCERPTS from MY OWN EMAILS to someone else WHOSE IDENTITY remains HIDDEN .No actual personally identifiable information about this other person has been revealed by me in these blogs all in an attempt to protect their privacy and mine as well.

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EXCERPT FROM THE EMAIL

START OF EXCERPT

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Here goes the book list

I went and scavenged around in my old book boxes, and fished out

Guy de Maupassant-

100 best short stories

I am a great fan of Guy.very delicately written stories.If you haven't already read him, i would suggest you pick up any work of his and you won't be disappointed

Ofcourse this other book , W.Somerset Maugham Selected short stories vol 1 and 2 have been lying around my living room table for a year now..I am trying to read some of it.

I was scouring around my old book collection, came across ,

Collected works of D.H.Lawrence...

I think i finished reading it once while i was in med school.Will try and read it again.I cannot believe that i must have around 100 books just from the time of four years during med school.

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END OF EXCERPT

MY 2012 POSTNOTE for the blog!!!

OKAY,SO in 2008 I GaVE HIM ADVICE ON THE BOOKS he must read.But back then, he was so buSy, drinking and partying and being a LOST confused person, ofcourse he never read any of the books I SUGGESTED..I don't think he read any of the above books even later either...hmmmmm...and I am thinking, he really doesn't take my advice on ANYTHING,,at all.whatever

Speaking of reading books,I am such a voracious reader, I HAVE lots and lots of books at my parents home as part of my PERSONAL LIBRARY.I HAVE NEATLY CATOLOGUED THEM TOO.

After I LEFT home for med school, again, during the course of med school, if i got bored or scared , i would go buy some books and the finish reading them in a week or less.That reading spree left me with MORE LOTS AND LOTS OF BOOKS.

it is only after my med school, that PROJECT GUTENBERG, allowed me to have access to E BOOKS..much before kindle and other such e readers appeared in the market.I DON'T OWN AN EBOOK READERS, I HAVEN'T BOUGHT DIGITAL BOOKS.don't like that format.And now, I JUST READ BLOGS...lol..BLOGS ARE JUST SELF PUBLISHED UNEDITED BOOKS, if you ask me..much better than actually publisher published books .

anyways,sigh,moving on,

MY BREAK UP LETTER TO MR.U-Yeah, I WROTE A BREAK-UP letter to him once!-Thursday, October 30, 2008, 6:50 AM-LETTERS TO MR.U

MY BREAK UP LETTER TO MR.U-Yeah, I WROTE A BREAK-UP letter to him once!-Thursday, October 30, 2008, 6:50 AM-LETTERS TO MR.U

===========================

please note: that publishing someone else's emails,letters,journals,personal pics,videos WITHOUT THEIR PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION is a LEGAL OFFENCE...( even if just on blogs or even if it is just redistribution to third parties via email, facebook and other such social media), (even if the aforementioned materials were shared with you by the writer or actual owner themselves).Please take WRITTEN PERMISSION from all parties involved prior to publishing such content.

Please also note that here in these blogs I am only posting EXCERPTS from MY OWN EMAILS to someone else WHOSE IDENTITY remains HIDDEN .No actual personally identifiable information about this other person has been revealed by me in these blogs all in an attempt to protect their privacy and mine as well.

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EXCERPT FROM THE EMAIL

START OF EXCERPT

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oh k

So, yeah, YOu are getting dumped by me

Why?

You stopped delivering what i thought you were capable of delivering.

Well that two years ago.two years ago, you showed promise.

Two years down the line..You are somebody else

I signed up for someone who was sure about not drinking, was proud of being a non smoker and someone whose xxxxxxx was real.

Now you are this rollie smoking , whisky drinking, Not so much of a xxxxx as much as you are this confused man bothered more about a buffed up chest(which btw doesnt look so good with those man boobs) and more bothered about the next idiot xxxxxxxx who caters to your sex addiction.

What you are now is not what i signed

up for and looks like you are going to be what you have become for a very long time to come..this change is irreversible as it appears.

So, yeah.. that old xxxxxxx has left the building of your soul.

So yeah.. that is why you are getting dumped.You are dumped coz you can't get any better and you are going to get worse and i dont want to sit around and witness the delapidation as it happens.

Yeah btw.. I am leaving you for someone else ...

xxxxxxxx..he is everything I was looking for..Also he works better for me coz he is a vegan just like me .. I mean.. i wasted 2 yrs waiting for you to go back to what you were in 2003..

In those two years.. I should have looked up xxxxxxx and should have left you way way back.

Anyways..nm that.. you are officially dumped.

Buh bye

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END OF EXCERPT

MY 2012 POSTNOTE for the blog!!!

wow, what a CURT ,"MATTER OF FACT" DUMPING LETTER..i wrote this dumping letter to him in october 2008.yeah, that is more than four years ago.yeah.

Funnily, given that we both were NOT OFFICIALLY dating or anything , THERE WAS REALLY NO NEED to write a dumping letter BACK THEN.

Funnily,also, inspite of that fact, I STILL felt the need to write an OFFICIAL LETTER,Telling him that I WAS MOVING ON..

I WAS ALSO , eager to let him know, I FOUND SOMEONE MORE COMPATIBLE...

FUNNILY, also, the new man, HAS THE SAME INITIALS IN HIS NAME as mr.u...

seriously,so, now in 2012, both men are trying to find a unique way to embellish the SAME INITIALS with something unique THAT WILL help differentiate their own initials from the other namesake.LOL

BOTH OF THEM HAVE THE SAME INTIALS

BTW,funnily,given that I WASN'T DATING THIS NEW MAN EITHER..there was no need to write such a dumping letter actually mentioning the name of and also profusely praising the new man.

this dumping letter is too irate, no?LOL

but , I JUST FELT THE NEED, SO I WROTE ONE..lol..I am funny sometimes..and dramatic at that...

look at how curt and harsh this dumping letter was...This letter is by far the harshest letter i have written to MR.U.

Also, i wrote this dumping letter in october of 2008...

After that,so,IT WAS very amusing to see, BOTH OF THESE MEN, actually become friends down the line and seriously, BOTH OF THEM were having a LITTLE BROMANCE moment for a bit too.and they were advicing each other too...YEAH, RIGHT, WHEN AND WHY DID THAT HAPPEN?CAN BOTH OF YOU GUYS, EXPLAIN THAT BROMANCE PART TO ME,PLEASE?surely ,i didn't have any part in this bromance sprouting out between you two?

love as an ALL OR NOTHING phenomenon,more pausch,and 80 hr jobs and conscience--October 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U

love as an ALL OR NOTHING phenomenon,more pausch,and 80 hr jobs and conscience--October 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U

===========================

please note: that publishing someone else's emails,letters,journals,personal pics,videos WITHOUT THEIR PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION is a LEGAL OFFENCE...( even if just on blogs or even if it is just redistribution to third parties via email, facebook and other such social media), (even if the aforementioned materials were shared with you by the writer or actual owner themselves).Please take WRITTEN PERMISSION from all parties involved prior to publishing such content.

Please also note that here in these blogs I am only posting EXCERPTS from MY OWN EMAILS to someone else WHOSE IDENTITY remains HIDDEN .No actual personally identifiable information about this other person has been revealed by me in these blogs all in an attempt to protect their privacy and mine as well.

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EXCERPT FROM THE EMAIL

START OF EXCERPT

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Anyways..I thought quite a few times before actually finally deciding that no matter what..It is a good idea to lighten my conscience by writing this letter to you ..this letter might look intrusive, or funny or stupid and uncalled for..but seven years down the line.. this mail might make sense to you...

gosh...I know it is so tough to be alone amongst constant scrutiny and it gets tough to deal with it all alone..so sometimes we just choose to be with whoever is the best we can find, though we already know they are NOT the best of what we possibly need or want..but trust me..

Love is an ALL OR NOTHING phenomenon..Anything inbetween only causes misery..

Have some courage... I just dont want you to do the mistakes i once did ..coz I notice that your behaviour is very very uncannily similar to mine ..so much so that it spooks me..seriously !

I wish i lived in the same city as you , so that i could meet up with you ..As of now..that is not on the cards.80hrs a week is just too much already,travel and meeting up is just not an option...so ,, emails are what is feasible.

Anyways,

I am just attaching the RANDY PAUSH SPEECH IN PDF..JUST DOWNLOAD THE DOCUMENT AND SAVE IT .or atleast open it and read it...I kinda felt good reading it a while ago.

love and hugs.

A

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END OF EXCERPT

MY 2012 POSTNOTE for the blog!!!!

sometimes i accuse MR.U of plagiarism...

you see, in october 2008, i wrote to him about this 'ALL OR NOTHING' phenomenon, and then one year down the line, he writes something very similar to this principle and earns tons of money out of it..

this happens a lot of the times.

I keep lecturing him on things, i write a lot of things on my blog and in my emails to him..and then, somewhere down the line, I SEE HIM writing something similar ..

I guess, he doesn't ACTIVELY CONSCIOUSLY TRY TO PLAGIARIZE..BUT..he INTERNALIZEs me and what I SAY to such an extent that he REGURGITATES IT at a later point

funnily, a lot of my other blog readers or friends or family end up doing this too..what? REPEATING 'MY' funny or clever lines as their OWN...

DON'T PEOPLE have the habit of QUOTING ? don't PEEPS have the habit of TRYING TO have some ORIGINAL THOUGHTS? come on!

Funny, at how CONCERNED i am of his welfare and emotional health IN THIS EMAIL...hmmmm..

But i MUST LET HIM GO OUT INTO THE WORLD ALONE AND LEARN THINGS WITHOUT MY CONSTANT COACHING from now ON.

now, he is on his own...no more emails, no more contact, no more advice..totally FIN.

promise TO MYSELF.

I JUST WANT HIM TO BE SAFE and sound mentally, is all.I WANT HIM TO DO WELL IN LIFE..i want him to be happy and JUST NOT FEEL ALONE .

HE WILL AND SHOULD PROTECT HIS OWN INTERESTS from now on...

hugs,kiss,WILL miss you .>BLOWS KISSES TO MR.U.

About purchasing used books from the PUBLIC LIBRARY-FEB 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U

About purchasing used books from the PUBLIC LIBRARY-FEB 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U

===========================

please note: that publishing someone else's emails,letters,journals,personal pics,videos WITHOUT THEIR PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION is a LEGAL OFFENCE...( even if just on blogs or even if it is just redistribution to third parties via email, facebook and other such social media), (even if the aforementioned materials were shared with you by the writer or actual owner themselves).Please take WRITTEN PERMISSION from all parties involved prior to publishing such content.

Please also note that here in these blogs I am only posting EXCERPTS from MY OWN EMAILS to someone else WHOSE IDENTITY remains HIDDEN .No actual personally identifiable information about this other person has been revealed by me in these blogs all in an attempt to protect their privacy and mine as well.

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EXCERPT FROM THE EMAIL

START OF EXCERPT

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Buy a good twenty books... and start reading them... that might make you less restless

...

I purchased this book called ""XXXX" at the public library used book sale...I always make it a point to buy used books coz it adds to the charm of the reading process...the thought that someone else touched these pages or read the same lines that i am reading in this very book ,,kinda warms my heart,,,,makes me feel a connection

so...go and buy some books.... the Books that i suggest here are going to be classic ones or some oddball books

like the 2006 winter release of the XXXXXX which i finished reading while on my flight from the US to FRankfurt... that was one good read

hmmmmm....i re read this book called GOOD EARTH.. by pearl s buck... incidentally..before my flight i had to dispose off all my stuff in the apartment and much to my disliking...i had to give those books back to the same public library i bought them from..gosh... awwwww...my books..i had to give them back..It was almost like ,,i tore a small piece of tissue from my heart and left it there at the public library...

I gave away my mountain bike too... THE 15 geared Mt.fury..awwwwww....The pain of giving away things that i grow sentimentally attached to...gosh...

so yeah...why the hell am i rambling about all this here?

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END OF EXCERPT

MY 2012 POSTNOTE for the blog!!!

As a post-note, I think ,USED BOOKS are such a joy...I don't like buying USED CLOTHES(UNHYGENIC) or USED ELECTRONICS OR FURNITURE...but used books? anytime baby,anytime!

I like buying them because oftentimes, I have found, addresses of the previous owners or their names neatly imprinted on the first white page of the book.I love finding out that the previous reader has left doodles or side notes on the white margins of the book(which I OFTEN DO TOO-Kinda keeps record of my mindset when i first read the book and much fun to re-read years later)

I DOG-EAR pages and will make note of the sex scenes in each book by noting the page numbers in which such scenes occur.I note these pages at the first page..LOL...which is why I LIKE USED BOOKs...coz i can check out someone else's anecdotes about the same book that I AM just about to explore.

also,recycling ,does help prevent cutting more trees to print out the same book.SHARING IS CARING...share your books ( i know, as a writer, royalties matter and the more books purchased, the more royalty and all that jazz..but still, beyond a basic selling number, royalties must be ignored)

btw,all I HAVE of the mt.fury now IS PICTURES...it was LIGHT ELECTRIC BLUE IN COLOR.:))

About books,blogs and "FAMILIARITY addicts"-July 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U

About books,blogs and "FAMILIARITY addicts"-July 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U

===========================

please note: that publishing someone else's emails,letters,journals,personal pics,videos WITHOUT THEIR PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION is a LEGAL OFFENCE...( even if just on blogs or even if it is just redistribution to third parties via email, facebook and other such social media), (even if the aforementioned materials were shared with you by the writer or actual owner themselves).Please take WRITTEN PERMISSION from all parties involved prior to publishing such content.

Please also note that here in these blogs I am only posting EXCERPTS from MY OWN EMAILS to someone else WHOSE IDENTITY remains HIDDEN .No actual personally identifiable information about this other person has been revealed by me in these blogs all in an attempt to protect their privacy and mine as well.

=============================

EXCERPT FROM THE EMAIL

START OF EXCERPT

**************************

Sweetie, i get you .It makes me feel less alone when i see you .Atleast i know there is one other person like me.

hugs to you .

Eat healthy.

Buy the books i suggested if you havent already read

Btw..also...blog suggestions...I am not really blogging at xxxxxxx anymore...blogging at blogger now(not so frequently though)

If you already are not a reader of David Byrne's blog, you must read his blog.

I blog at blogger with the id of Le Cinq Blog.

hmmmmmm

hugs to you .It is tough for unique people in this world , a world full of people who are familiarity addicts.so yeah,,for you and for me...it is tough going..hmmmm..

Someone i talked to a while ago was asking me , what kind of surgery i perform..I was telling him , general and then he asked if i plan to branch out further and i told him xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

it doesnt matter.

take care.

Next time i am gonna mail you from my gmail account, k?

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END OF EXCERPT

MY 2012 POSTNOTE for the blog!!!

So,now in 2012, when you see my tweets, you all will know that i STILL SUGGEST david byrne's journal to each and everyone who cares to read some clever stuff.PRIOR TO 2008, i used to blog somewhere else..now i BLOG FULLTIME at blogger, as all of you can APPARENTLY see.i also started using gmail at around the same time.NOW, IN 2012, i am a fulltime gmail user as well.

btw ,mr.u, probably still doesn't read DAVID byrne's journal..infact, he hasn't read any books that i suggested either..he has no time to READ MY ADVICE even..so, well, as of 2012, i have stopped emailing even.I am getting out of his life forever..hence these PURGING BLOG ENTRIES as part of the LETTERS TO MR.U series!

okay, to be fair, I DON'T READ ANYTHING HE SUGGESTS EITHER AND infact , I DON'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO HIM WHEN HE ADVICES , so YEAH, we both are very independant like that..LOL..

ABOUT A SONG-DEC 2007-LETTERS TO MR.U

ABOUT A SONG-DEC 2007-LETTERS TO MR.U

===========================

please note: that publishing someone else's emails,letters,journals,personal pics,videos WITHOUT THEIR PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION is a LEGAL OFFENCE...( even if just on blogs or even if it is just redistribution to third parties via email, facebook and other such social media), (even if the aforementioned materials were shared with you by the writer or actual owner themselves).Please take WRITTEN PERMISSION from all parties involved prior to publishing such content.

Please also note that here in these blogs I am only posting EXCERPTS from MY OWN EMAILS to someone else WHOSE IDENTITY remains HIDDEN .No actual personally identifiable information about this other person has been revealed by me in these blogs all in an attempt to protect their privacy and mine as well.

=============================

EXCERPT FROM THE EMAIL

START OF EXCERPT

*********************

Heya
I just sat there and made myself listen to your "XXXX"
XXXXXX.And the first time that i tried listening to it, which was a couple of weeks ago..I just couldn't hold it together after almost the first min into the song...I could kinda sense that if i listened further of the song, i am so sure to cry...
There is something so melancholic about the tune and lyrics and everything...k...HMMMMm
Today.....Today...it being sunday and all...i sat there and listened to the whole song... and needless to say..the tears just came tumbling down...and i have no idea why i even cry for this song...I cannot consciously recall something that i can relate to, XXX about in this song..Yet ..yet..i cry...I have no idea why
The lyrics for this song rock..XXX !!BTW,Looks like i am slowly losing all my language skills.

XXXXX.voice that i have always loved. the tune so so touches the heart...XXXXX if i cry each time i listen to this song..i have to stop listening to this song
btw..gotta go..My patients are waiting for me
take care
hugs from
XXXXX

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END OF EXCERPT

MY 2012 POSTNOTE for the blog!!!

hmmm, It is a 2007 email to him. AND i took time to describe this song like crazy..too much time on hands? or too much need to share every single thing with HIM..? both maybe..LOL

Friday, December 21, 2012

saturday all over me

I want to spend all saturday with me and you on the bed, you laying on
me, both of us half naked and with your left palm gently placed on my
stomach , near the belly button, while light streams through the open
balcony doors and we both spend the whole afternoon,you asking me
questions and me explaining things to you.i kiss you on your head of
hair , time to time and you look up into my eyes from time to time,
but mostly we are vegetating all saturday except to get up to have
food, breakfast,brunch,late lunch,some tea, then dinner
and then by night , we are still happy, coz, we still have another day
all of us together,,SUNDAY!
TAGS:SEX,LOVE,mr_green,love_making,saturday,sunday,vegetating

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

the russian that turned it around for me

I have always had this idea that russia is a gender abusive mafia
state that doesn't take care of the welfare of its female
citizens..the words COMMUNISM, human rights violation, gender based
abuse, human trafficking, russian mail order brides and generelized
stifling of human souls is what comes to mind when I think of russia
and then as I was browsing BLOGSOF NOTE, i came across NICHOLAY and my
whole perspective just got negated..HE TURNED AROUND THE IDEA i had of
the russian man psyche..
After I saw his blog , surely I understood that russian men can be
VERY VERY INSIGHTFUL AND ARTISTIC...tHANKS NICHOLAY
http://www.nickolaykravtsov.com/
tags:russia,russian_men,nickolay

voices meant to sing

Some voices that take you to another place, where you start to dance
and connect and unwind and get all turned on..MAROON 5=adam
levine=voices meant to sing and be heart
Tags:music,maroon_5,adam_levine
something very sensual and sexy about his voice..oozes
sexuality,,flows like satin and gets me everytime :))))

Nothing like jazz

Even in the most confusing,racy thought moments of my life...GOLDEN
RULE is, LISTEN TO JAZZ and suddenly, MY MIND WILL CALM DOWN...Jazz is
one thing that WILL FOR SURE...calm me down immensely UNDER EVER GIVEN
CIRCUMSTANCE..
Tags:music,jazz

Music truly heals

I have eight days worth of non stop music -all my favorite music and
songs too..and yet, I rarely partake of the undivided joy of just
chilling to music...
These past couple of days, though as part of multitasking, I am
listening to my music collection and suddenly realize that HAD I TAKEN
THE HELP OF MUSIC, I would have healed faster this
year...anyways...music does heal,,,sets a slower pace and the mind
stops racing and calms down
Tags:music,heals

More of kayo than oshin

I took the time and watched 100 episodes of oshin, just to refresh a
vague childhood memory.
Not bad at all, but I just have to say that by the 100th episode I saw
myself checking to see how many episodes were left and was shocked
that there were a total of 297 episodes.. and I was like, "geezus" ..I
mean...can't go ahead watch 200 more episodes..So, gave it up for
now..Also, the lady that english subtitles the episodes does them 2 at
a time per week and I have EXHAUSTED all english subtitled
episodes..and from now in, I can watch 2 episodes per week ...The
whole series though is already uploaded in a CHINESE VERSION and if I
get desperate or bored enough, one of these days, I will watch the
rest of the 100 episodes, in a marathon fashion in chinese and be done
with it..LOL
So, yeah...I used to think that I AM OSHIN in some ways..but now,
given my adult perspective on things, I AM MORE OF A KAYO than oshin
...:))A sad but interesting revelation about myself
Tags":oshin,kayo,japan,childhood_memories,memories,tv_series

The colored memories of japan

My first exposure to japan was during my childhood when an english
dubbed version of the tv series OSHIN was telecast on our TV....that
was the MOST UNTAINTED INNOCENT BEAUTY FILLED MEMORY OF JAPAN...japan
became the land of snow,wooden slippers,sliding doors,ceramics and
what not ...to me,,it was all INNOCENCE AND HAPPINESS FILLED...
With my exposure to MR.U...who was in the japanese language learning
club during his early teens and hence , his association and love for
japan comes from that...
and sometimes in 2008/2009,,he was taking yet another trip to japan
and therefore, i was tweeting what I THOUGHT WERE PERSONAL anonymous
tweets, THE GIFTS i wanted from japan for me...I wanted tatami
mats,sushi making mats, and some ceramics...
Funnily, by 2008, all my memories japan GOT COLORED WITH MR.U

Funnily, MR.GREEN's friend, twitter searches and auto adds anyone who
tweets about japan because incidentally mr.green was living in japan
and still lives in japan and he was running a blog and was looking to
add all japan interested people to his twitter friends feed so that we
can then read his blog and he can RAISE AD REVENUE via the blog
visits..

And after making tweets about japan that were INDIRECTLY directed at
mr.u, I was surprised when some 40 YEAR OLD GUY from japan suddenly
followed me ...sure enough i checked out his twitter and then his
friends list and then proceeded to add this other guy who was a
software engineer also from japan...I added this mr.green's friend
first and then read his blog and then added this other guy who
happened to be his friend...
This guy was MR.GREEN
In an unexpected series of events thereafter, i became close to
MR.GREEN for a while and NOW ALL MY MEMORIES OF JAPAN have stopped
being colored with mr.u AND sadly ARE NOW ALL COLORED WITH THE MEMORY
ASSOCIATION OF mr.green
This saddens me very very much...
I WANT MY UNTAINTED CHILDHOOD MEMORY ASSOCIATIONS OF JAPAN BACK...
BUT IT IS JUST NOT HAPPENING..
Anything about japan , any news on tv...anything on the travel channel
and all i can think of is MR.GREEN..sadly, he is married to someone
else now :(((
TAGS:japan,memories,oshin,mr.u

french music

I am reading blogs and blogging simultaneously and french music from
yonder years is playing on my laptop..for some reason,,OLD WORLD
FRENCH MUSIC FROM THE BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE Era...TOTALLY GETS
ME...GRABS MY SOUL AND SERENADES IT
Tags;french,music,french_music

switched offf

I saw your picture from six months ago where you were incredibly
handsome.got turned on so much...I was switched on sexually by
it...weeks of sexual fantasies that came easily to me due to you

Then I happened to see your LATEST picture on her blog...oh no...same
old tired, old and fat and hiding that paunch with an oversized t
shirt..
suddenly switched off...I am trying to force my mind to have a sexual
fantasy about you , much like trying to defecate in a constipation
nothing happens, nothing comes out
I HAVE SWITCHED OFF apparently
what a reality check...but also, good to know that the handsome you
has the capacity to turn me on that much...it is a pity that you are
NOT THAT HANDSOME all the time...:(
tags;sex,orgasms

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

me=hachiko

I suddenly feel like I am hachiko..that dog that kept coming to ueno
station each day for many years even after its human companion died
...As I stare at my inbox every few minutes to see if he emailed yet,
I feel like hachiko..what if he has blocked me altogehter.what if he
never got the email i sent him yesterday?what if therefore, he never
will know I am sitting here like HACHIKO and still waiting for his
reply not knowing that he never GOT my email in his inbox even.:((
I DON'T WAN'T TO BE HACHIKO...
Tags:hachiko,dog,waiting

Bury my head on your shoulder

On some days, I just want to bury my face on your shoulder, in the
infraclavicular space and cry out and then wipe my tears on your
tshirt..I want you to hold me and kiss me on my head while I do so.
Tags:mr_GREEN,love

not in ever?

You are not going to talk to me EVER? is that your PLAN now?what a
stupid plan now that is..come on,Don't be a baby,talk please?:((
.........................................
Tags:reconciliation,love,lust,Mr_green,male

Monday, December 17, 2012

our sex

I have had you on my mind for so long now, I WANT TO CONSUMMATE this
thing we have in a sexual manner.
I want to have sex with you atleast once before you get REALLY OLD ..
I want to have sex with you atleast once, while you are still the man
I once shared a 14 hour conversation with
while you can have sex the way a young man would be able to .
I want to have sex in a place that IS NOT A HOTEL..hotels are fully of
too thin walls, and housekeeping staff that check on the room each
day..NOT ENOUGH PRIVACY AND hotels are too personal and cheap.
I want to have sex in a place THAT IS NOT MY REGULAR APARTMENT...COZ i
don't memories of my apartment coloring by you and your memories and
our sex..I WANT TO SEPERATE those memories...afterall, YOU and I..ARE
not meant to be together forever.....but we ought to be together
once...atleast once
I WON'T mind having sex with you in your apartment,,but since you
hurriedly married someone you don't even love like you love me,,IT
WOULD VIOLATE MY SELF RESPECT if we try having sex there in that
apartment..your apartment,,where in each room you once sat and thought
how it would look if we had sex there..each single room where you
already envisioned US,YOU AND ME having sex...yet,NOW,us having sex
there in your apartment is ruled out...
so,where are we left with?
I want to have sex at a time and place, where I DON'T NEED TO WORRY
about one of us needing to leave the place within hours of having
sex...
I want to not bother about needing to wake up early the next day and
vacate the place either..
I want to share a homecooked meal with you prior to and after having
sex...i WANT TO CUDDLE with you after sex..I want to go off to sleep
without a care after the sex...
So,,maye this OUR SEX is never going to happen...unless, you divorce
her, stay single for a bit after that and meanwhile, if i don't find
anyone , maybe a year after your divorce,if you have managed to NOT
SLEEP WITH ANYONE ELSE or hook up with someone else and I haven't
either,,mabye MAYBE,,we can try and get together? make love, ( i
started crying just as I typed this out-says a lot ,no?), stay
together for a few months, in an apartment which we both can co-sign
and co pay and then pretend to be a couple for a few months, and while
I go to work and do my 80 hours job and you work and do your job, we
will still come back to OUR HOME and then have sex...A MARRIAGE LESS
SEX with no future..YET IT WOULD BE our sex..A SEX without guilt or
worry..IT WOULD BE OUR SEX....I don't want A "FOREVER" WITH YOU..coz
we don't gel that way...but, I want an episode of 'OUR SEX" to
remember you by
And i want you to be able to give up everything you have now , to be
able to be with me WITHOUT PUTTING A LOT OF PRESSURE ON MY SHOULDERS
TO MARRY YOU OR BE WITH YOU FOREVER...if you have the courage to give
up everything WITHOUT AN ASSURANCE THAT I AM a DONE DEAL...without an
assurance that I WILL BE THERE WITH YOU FOREVER...then I AM READY TO
have OUR SEX..i WANT IT..
But i don't want to be pressured into marrying someone out of guilt
that i made him break up his marriage to be able to have sex with
me...
I want a normal dating .I don't want to be pressured into anything coz
you are looking to settle down coz you are old enough to settle down..
I am ten years younger than you are..I AM ALLOWED TO EXPLORE without
that pressure on me to settle down just coz I am getting older..i
should not be needing to compensate for your insecurities,your
limitations or your past mistakes.
Tags:love,sex,

Nylon strings>>guitar update

Very recently, finally went to the guitar store to look at nylon
strings..They were quite fine,quite cheap and reasonable price
too..but then the guitar shop guy asked me what kind of guitar I
had..when I told him "acoustic" he told me that "nylon strings were
usually for a classical guitar" and then proceeded to take out a
classical guitar and showed me that the string is fastened in a
different manner from a classic guitar and thus those nylon strings
will not fit my acoustic guitar
Truly, so..
So, I didn't buy the nylon strings ..instead I bought some finger
attachments, typically used to strum another string instrument called
the VEENA....
BTW,,after buyin my guitar in nov 2009, for a couple of months, I
tried learning the basics..and then, in 2010, i gave up on guitar due
to life things that I let take me over completely, 2011 was another
bad year too..so finally in the past few months, finally i got calm
enough to finally take the guitar out again...and after first day of
practice, the LEFT HAND THAT FRETS ended up with hurting swollen
blobs...
A quick look at 43 things and a young girl posted tips about how to
prevent such painful blobs on fingers..she suggested NYLON STRINGS...
hmmmmmm..
Anyways...So far, things I have accomplished with the guitar?
1/I know some basics like, what are the parts of a guitar
2/became familiar with some terminology like what are chords, notes etc
3/kinda know how to read basic tablature
4/kinda know some very basic chords...
5/know that there are no set rules,, any position that is comfortable
to you personally is the way to go.
6/trying to gather up info on how to read sheet music..i already have
info collected from 2009...that I am yet to use..maybe i just first
read up all that I already have gathered so far,, I have
videos,screenshots, info,music sheets, lessons from various
websites..I even have taken the time to print them all out and arrange
them in folders..so, time to finish up the backlog of lessons before
looking up for new lessons online
7/I discovered that I PREFER FINGER STRUMMING compared to using a pick.
8/last of all, THERE ARE NO RULE..make up your own rules as you go
with the guitar
9/Also, I notice that these days, ever since 2009, each time on TV, i
see people playing that guitar or any other string instrument for that
matter, I SPONTANEOUSLY take to noticing how they place their fingers,
how they strum or how they play..THAT IS A SIGN OF A GOOD EAGER
STUDENT..IT IS A GOOD SIGN that I am doing it naturally...that shows
promise that I will improve ..:))
tags:music,music_instruments,guitar,learning,self_learning_guitar,black_beauty

5 cent books

When I was a kid, I would collect money over school days, so that I
COULD SPEND that book money on books during vacation when my mom would
take me to bookshops..
Back then, I would choose the CHEAPEST BOOKS which would also be
interesting, so that I COULD BUY as many books as possible with my
modest book money.
Back then i bought five cent books of quotes and proverbs and such..
Funnily, 25 years later, i went book shopping very recently and found
the very same series of books for the very SAME PRICE...five cents...
I don't remember where my old five cents books are,,but I wanted to
REFILL MY MEMORY CENTER in my house AND so, I bought the whole lot of
FIVE CENT BOOKS..aawwwwwwww..Getting all sentimentally mushy now !
Tags:five_cents,books,childhood,book_money

Experiencing you

I wanted to experience you intimately on some level, before you go and
married her.I knew, we were not right for marriage to each other,
maybe i did even suggest she was more appropriate for you.but I WANTED
TO EXPERIENCE YOU INTIMATELY on some level , before I could let you
go so that you could go and marry her or marry anyone else..but IN A
HURRY, you married her,,before WE COULD CONSUMMATE our animal
instincts for each other...what a sad loss, what a big mistake..
I WAS RIGHT THERE and you went and married her ,while i was right
there..that rules out any possibility of us getting together anytime
in the future..I MEAN, I WAS RIGHT THERE, YOU COULD HAVE TRIED TO HAVE
ME BACK THEN..now, now? that is not possibility, no matter who you
divorce or break up with..coz BACK THEN,I was right there for you to
have...you were free too..you could have had me..you could have freed
yourself of her and become free and then tried to pursue me,BUT
DIDN'T,,instead in your impatience that I WASN'T PUTTING IT ALL OUT
FOR YOU TO EASILY DEVOUR,you went for something that was right there
all set out to gobble up...NOW YOU HAVE A LIFETIME OF SHIT TO GOBBLE
from her...sadly,that is what you are going to do..dole out the
worthless shit she has to offer to you each day...sadly
Tags:mr_green,intimacy,shit

Kissing over the counter!

I want to be able to suddenly reach over the counter and kiss you on
the mouth.Some strange animal attraction this!
Tags:sex,lust,animal_attraction,kiss,mr_green

Re: My sewing and knitting projects

To peeps wanting 2 see my Sewing/knitting projects>There are far too
many.Too little time on hand.Will try N post on POETRY
blog,k?.........................................
Tags:poetry,sewing,knitting,art,craft,my_sewing_projects

craft or clutter?

So many of these craft project involve using glue and paper.The crafts
they produce might look too good for the day, but as days pass on,
they attract dust, and they are not sturdy enough house objects
either..They end up becoming HOUSE CLUTTER.
Tags:craft,clutter,dust_magnets,house_clutter

norah or craft?

Not sure if it was the 18hrs of undisturbed sleep i had prior to this
or the fact that I am lying down in a pleasantly cool dark room with
my table lamp on beside the bed,lying down in the buff under my
blanket and laptop on my flexed hips and legs, listening to NORAH or
is it the craft blog that I accidentally found while browsing
blogsofnote, but the COMBINED MOOD is "OH SO UNWINDING"
So, so , at peace !!
Tags:unwinding,peace,rested,happy,norah,craft_blogs

Someone else also crafty?

I tweeted a few days ago about my BLOG HEADER PICTURES...They are
COLLAGE PICTURES of my own photos, altered and textured and cropped
and pasted together to suite the mood of each blog.
I HAVE A BIT OF CRAFTY in me..and when i see someone else being crafty
it WARMS MY HEART..
I was browsing through blogsofnote and found a blog called
twistedmuse, and the first thing I saw when i clicked on their blog is
their blog header>>>A COLLAGE !
I smiled to myself and said to myself "Yet another crafty just like me! "
I scrolled down to find out that they sell craft kits ..and what I
really really liked is the fact that THEY PRACTICE WHAT THEY PREACH...
you have to be really crafty yourself and that first hand knowledge of
craft helps you be a better salesman of the kits you are trying to
sell...
I am going to go now and browse through their stuff, k?
Meanwhile, all of your blog readers, please take a little time in your
day to let your creative side out
Tags:craft,creativity,collage,blog_header,me,art

disclaimer:I haven't NOT been paid anything to talk about some other
website..I just mentioned them coz they are crafty.I have no personal
or business connection with them.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Focus

I lack focus,I am an escapist.I am a procrastinator.I am a
perfectionist.I am a loser.
Tags:focus

About blog headers

All of my blog headers are DESIGNED BY ME. They are what you call
COLLAGES.Are they visible on your mobile versions though?

Thursday, December 13, 2012

An Eye for FONTS

I have always had an eye for designs and fonts..I used to type out my
emails in varied fonts and colors in 2001...sorta, gave up emailing
altogether later..ANYWAYS.
Fast forward, TEN YEARS
Recently, WHILE redesigning my blogs, I took a LOOONG time, EXAMINING
various fonts and their shapes and sizes..
Apparently , all of the fonts are imprinted in my brain now.
Each time I visit someone else's blog these days, just incase they
have a fancy font, I AUTOMATICALLY identify the font by NAME...cute..
Was suddenly reminded of MR.U's obsession WITH FONTS..too..we are very
similar in a LOT OF WAYS...
Tags:fonts,designs,MR.U

Popping out child after child just to KEEP a husband from leaving

It all started over false pretences..Casually asking HIM if he wants
to come along to some CASUAL PARTY ..and that becomes one occasion
both of you are seen together...
Casually, constantly tagging along to casual lunches and dinners,
CONSTANTLY, till everyone and anyone has seen you together..
then casually introducing him to your parents..and pretending it is a
CASUAL MEETING...
easing him in "OH SO CASUALLY"
Finally, you both get tagged as BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND... HE WANTS
TO BREAK UP..
After the break up, being TOO EAGER to take him back...
I mean,There was this CASUAL DISCUSSION OF WANTING TO GET MARRIED...
And then ,
MAKING YOUR PARENTS PAY FOR THE WEDDING..
And then
HIM WANTING TO BREAK OFF THE ENGAGEMENT
, Then
Using your blog to exert INDIRECT PRESSURE....
using the fact that YOUR PARENTS HAVE ALREADY WASTED/SPENT the money
on the ARRANGMENTS..
Then ,
CASUALLY easing him in , into a marriage..
And then,
ACCIDENTALLY getting pregnant right during the HONEY MOON TRIP..when
both of you were DOCTORS and surely were in no position to PLAN A
FAMILY, given both of you were only starting residency...
YOU JUST HAD TO MAKE SURE HE won't break up or leave you that easily
again, right?
surely, BOTH OF YOU MED GRADS, knew of contraception..WHAT THE FUCK,
do you mean,the pregnacy was an accident?
I don't think it was an accident..I think it was YOUR INSECURE
DESPERATE PLOY, to keep a trophy husband,,who has tried far too many
times to leave you, the TAGGER ALONG.
Now, while you constantly mention how you could have done better had
you not had children,
sometimes , it escapes your mouth, that the only little time you have
with each other is spent , planning what to do with the kids..
THE KIDS ARE THE GLUE..the kids...that you are popping out in
succession JUST TO PROVE TO YOUR MOM that your trophy husband indeed
does love you,, why else would he impregnate you three times
already...WHAT THE FUCK..
Given the fact that the first child was such an accident, why the hell
would you then have another kid? and then another? LIKE A BABY POPPING
MACHINE..
You barely have time to take care of your first child..The ANCHOR
child that you had, just so that you make it that much more difficult
for him to leave you the next time around HE WANTS TO LEAVE YOU...
You then realize that he may not love you but he sure does love the
children...So, why not pop child after child, so that you can FEEL
SECURE IN AN ACCIDENTAL MARRIAGE that almost never happened.
You think, let me use my body as my instrument to pop up another child
that I WILL DO A FUCK JOB OF PARENTING AT ,yet, I want that child, as
a ransom trap from the father of the children
I watch and think, WHAT AN INSECURE DESPERATE WOMAN..SHE PREACHES
FEMINISM and yet, at home, she is this desperate insecure woman vying
for the attention and love of a man, whom she tricked into a marriage
and now wants to keep for ever...
Trust me, by the time your kids grow up and you can no longer pop more
children, SUDDENLY , you will be sitting in a room with a VERY
DISCONNECTED MAN..who is very resentful about the whole thing. and you
will be filled with more self loathing more insecurity, while you
costantly take digs of disapproval at your PRETTY daughter , who
strangely reminds you of your PRETTY MOTHER, who always never left an
opportunity to remind you how ugly you are and how she always wanted a
boy and not a girl.
Tags:insecurity,dysfuntional_marriages,manipulation,parenting,bad_parenting,anchor_babies,desperation

Won't mind if Mr.U married someone else

At this point, I won't really MIND if Mr.U married someone
else.Somewhere in JULY and AUGUST of 2012, I racked my brains a lot
AND realized THAT HE IS NOT RIGHT FOR ME...at all and suddenly , I was
baffled that I SPENT nine years..having him somewhere at the back of
my mind , as a backburner person,as an "eventually want to end up with
"person, as a " possible potential soulmate" person and yada yada...
yes, HE IS A MALE REPLICA , of me.,.but , OUR WORLDS ARE
DIFFERENT....and they will never merge SATISFACTORILY ...so...he is
better off with someone else..and I AM DEFINITELY BETTER off with
someone else, totally!
So, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY am okay with whomever he is dating right now and
I AM GOING TO BE SUPER OKAY even if he got married to her...
you see, Once i am sure, he is not the one for me..I DON'T GO AROUND
wasting time, thinking further...
HE IS FREE TO MARRY OR DATE ANYONE
And
more than anything,
I AM NOW WHOLEHEARTEDLY FREE IN MY SOUL to look for someone that i
will feel is the RIGHT ONE FOR ME
TAGS:Mr.u,letting_go,seperation,half_of_my_heart,goodbye

David Byrne

http://journal.davidbyrne.com/ is a must read for anyone wanting to
learn something new and interesting about the world in general !
#journals ..............................
Tags:David_byrne,journal,art_appreciation,art,godfather

Dave Brubeck,Ravishankar

Music LEGENDS> Jazz Pianist Dave Brubeck AND Sitar Maestro RaviShankar
died in their nineties this
month................................................................................
TAGS:Dave_Brubeck,LEGENDS,Pandit_Ravishankar,music

"ADAM and EVE" ,she babbles!

I just read this blog entry by her,mr.green's second wife that is !
Given that she has a  college degree(I am hoping she has one) it surprises me that she has not ENOUGH BIOLOGY background for her to already know ABOUT THE FACT that sexual identity DEVELOPS by age three.

First off this lady is the woman I personally ILL-ADVICED  mr.green to get married to
anyways, solely, based on my knowledge that he has already spent years dating and fucking her.

I felt that since he had already done so and is continuing to do so even after we found each other on a social networking site, he probably would be better off and  WOULD BE MORE COMFORTABLE sharing a life with someone whom he has already been sharing a life for so long.
What I am really irritated is about people who continue to fuck and live with a person and while they are doing so ,continue to shop for upgrades.The reason why you are shopping for upgrades is because SOMETHING is not working in your current relationship.And if something is not working in your current relationship ,then either discuss it with your current relationship person and make it work or break up with them.Don't continue to fuck the person you don't even love anymore,while still continue to people shop for an upgrade,is all I am saying.

Anyways,there was never going to be a time, I WOULD EVER CONSIDER A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM or ever marry him,and since he is one of those people who looks for a SURE THING,,who would be STUCK UP WITH HIM LEGALLY,I felt,I felt,a lady of her temperament is more suited to his mindset!

So,amidst all the arguments and discussion,I AM GUILTY of advicing him to go back to her and be with her and marry her.

I didn't realize that he would actually go ahead and ACT on it so quickly. Again,given that he is a very sneaky,dishonest personality,HE PROBABLY HAD BEEN PLANNING a wedding with her for MUCH LONGER than I knew he was planning one.

Anyways, Since our acquaintance was so ILL TIMED ,nothing was going to come of it anyways.And it is NOT JUST ABOUT TIMING HERE.Even if he had been single when we met,given that he is much older than I am and given his personality is VERY deceptive, and given that he is actually emotionally gay,I WOULD HAVE NEVER MARRIED HIM ANYWAYS..


But then, we were so hooked onto each other, It would have helped ,had we experienced EACH OTHER on a more deeper intimate level for a bit  longer BEFORE LETTING GO...
And so, it feels so unrequited on BOTH SIDES...and sadly, the man went and got married to her already!!

All I am saying is,WHEN SOMETHING FEELS compulsive with someone,explore it with all honesty...And don't just make stupid decisions in haste.

Anyways, after I found out he had gotten married,I even wrote him a letter ..I told
him, and i
quote"Yes, I did push you back to her (with all our arguments and my criticisms about how he was so SHOPPING FOR UPGRADES in people and yada yada) ,yes,I myself told you to go back to her and yes, on some level, I DO think that she is better suited for you,BUT YOU SHOULD
HAVE WAITED a bit longer before getting married like that" unquote .

HERE IS THE DEAL,with what happened back then.
We were from different worlds,in terms of maturity levels,different intellectual levels,different emotional mindsets,different countries,different ethical standards,different views on alcohol and addictions and such.

A MARRIAGE WOULD NEVER work for us together..I AGREE WHOLE-HEARTEDLY..but there is this yearning and desire that got ignited somewhere along the way , amongst those
emotional long 14 hours email conversations and amongst those quick stealing of kisses over letters and amongst adjusting clocks to the timezone of the other person just to have a wee bit of conversation where our free-times coincide...
that desire is what remains UNREQUITED...
IGNITING it WAS A MISTAKE,.

So, I AM UPSET that he went ahead and married in haste,half in despair about how the "US' in the 'WE" will never materialize. (again,here,given that he is generally that poker-faced dishonest person,maybe he had been planning that wedding with her all along and meanwhile,KEPT talking this way to MANY women including me, online ,as a sexual outlet.I could be wrong about my assessment of the whole situation we had back then.Also,given that he is gay,our whole affair and his current and past marriages are all a lie,in my view)

So,yeah,in my opinion,because it all felt UNREQUITED, we just had to experience each other a little bit more...we just had to...hmmm..sigh !Why?it is better to explore and plod things that are compuslive and see ,how it pans out!

All those things we discussed we wanted to do in bed to each other,The discussions,they had such a profound impact on our heads ..both of our heads
And now,I FEAR TO IMAGINE IN DISGUST that he is  probably trying out those moves on her and making her a HAPPY, GIGGLY GAL....

Silly her, she must be surprised and gleeful about the fact that her once robotic boyfriend(fiance) in bed, is suddenly such a sensitive lover trying out so many new things in bed...

Silly her, she must even FANCY that it is her special presence which  is making her husband a hungry aggressive lover...
Silly her, little does she know that it took another woman from thousand miles away to awaken and caress his sexuality.. Ofcourse,no matter how much I or her carress his sexuality,the person he has been in love for 12 years now is a man and he will continue to be in love with him no matter who he sticks his dick into.
If ,in 5 years of fucking him in real life,she didn't have the emotional I.Q,to recognize that something doesn't fit,then maybe, SHE DESERVES to be married to a gay man.
AGain,MAYBE he already knows and DOESN'T CARE..as long as he rabbit fuck hers,be her trophy husband and does things around the house and store!

Silly her, little does she know that while she greedily laps him up in her, a little fragment of him is still remembering me and wanting me and imagining me and while he is fantasizing about me,he is actually only compensating for the attention he craves for but never gets from this man he has been in love with for 12 years now..
Gay men who pretend to be heterosexual can CREATE A BIG MESS all around for everyone involved!


So, when I finally read one of her blogs this week(I have to clarify,haven't read her blogs in a long long time..just out of fleeting curiosity, randomly picked up her latest blog to read...) ,i was like,maybe they deserve each other.

In this blog, she babbles a lot about how she thought, that sexuality and sexual desire only awakened in ADULThood JUST LIKE THE ADAM AND EVEN STORY SAYS..

First off, ADAM AND EVE story is EXTREME CHAUNVINISTIC BULLSHITE!where women are created out of male ribs..WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? women give birth to men..not the other way around.and more than anything.if all of us came from adam and eve,that means ,we are all brothers and sisters fucking each other..GROSS AND NON-SCIENTIFIC..

DISGUSTING,ILLOGICAL ,GENDER-ABUSIVE RELIGIOUS STORIES!

So,yeah,her blog entry.

She then proceeds to describe how her husband loves SNOW and so wants to go snowboarding on weekends and how SHE HATES SNOW...

I am not sure if mr.green's NEW FOUND LOVE FOR SNOW was one way of making sure he gets ALONE TIME. ..or a way to STILL ASSERT HIS INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY amidst always doing all the things she INSISTS to be done in the name of tradition and in a tone of RIGHTFUL BEGGING that many controlling insecure wives adopt to ...much like, " we must do this and this and this coz I AM YOUR WIFE AND I SAID SO"

I say,"new found love for snow" coz mr.green grew up in a country with no snow and as far as I know,HE IS NOT REALLY A NATURAL either..he just copying his gay love who happened to explore snowboarding a few years ago and as is expected,lovelorn,MR.GREEN copies his gay love in whatever he does!

She is an insecure wife whose only way of assuring herself that he cares for her is by FORCING HIM TO DO THINGS he won't do otherwise and when he does it FOR HER,that means he loves her..
LET ME BREAK IT TO YOU LADY..this monster is not capable of REAL HEALTHY LOVE..so yeah!

So, amidst, constantly getting  COUPLE massages done coz she thinks they are great for couple bonding, and going shopping with her , and then going and bowing to GODS THAT HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN, coz she babbles about TRADITION....amidst heeding to  all this controlling behavior from her,HIM INSISTING ,that he WILL HAVE TO SNOWBOARD though SHE HATES SNOW is one way of asserting to himself that he is NOT HER LEASH DOG..(sadly, he is her leash dog, in my
opinion)
IN MY OPINION,love is about FREE WILL,not controlling each other.so yeah!

So, many INSECURE women, weave a thousand webs of pretence and wear a mask of aGREEABILITY to TRAP a man..
I use the word trap coz this whole PRETENCE DURING DATING disgusts me to no end.. Why are people pretending to be someone else all through dating? is dating a GAME TO BE WON?coz,surely,pretence only leads to LOSING in the end,on an emotional level!


Anyways,
Insecure women play a thousand games to PROCURE A HUSBAND..whom they then PLAN TO HAVE AS A LEASH DOG..
I guess, these women DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT HAVING A real RELATIONSHIP.. They just need a MAN AROUND THE HOUSE, to make them do the things, they don't care to do themselves?Which btw, is a whole OTHER TOPIC FOR ANOTHER BLOG ENTRY ON THIS BLOG

So, now GIVEN THE FACT that mr.green now insists on going on snowboarding trips ALONE,and given that she has ALREADY MADE IT CLEAR SHE HATES SNOW,, she can't now go back and pretend to like snow and tag along on those trips without losing EGO...

And yet, given that she is secretly insecure , she then OFCOURSE has to keep an eye on her PRIZED TROPHY HUSBAND... given that he does have so many other women who are his "friends"...
So, she INVENTS this new thing about HOW SHE LOVES HOT SPRING BATHS.... There are a lot of hot spring baths at these snowboarding places he goes! bingo!

Funnily, pretending to like hot spring baths now  allows her to tag along with him on his snowboarding trips.While he snowboards, she CAN PRETEND TO LOVE THE HOT BATH SOAKS and while she does that, around the corner of her eye, she can keep an eye on her husband too..no?
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE INSECURE WOMEN DOING MARRYING MEN THAT DON'T
REALLY LOVE THEM? AND THEN SPENDING A LIFETIME, TIGHTENING THE LEASH
ON THEIR DOG HUSBANDS and constantly needing to keep an eye on them.

life is not be wasted ON PLOTTING AND PLANNING and feeling insecure and keeping an eye on and other such NON-PRODUCTIVE PURSUITS!

So, yeah...when I read this blog entry about her "love for hot spring baths"I HAD A VAGUE SENSE OF NAUSEA and unease too ..then I felt sorry for him and sorry for her too..

yeah,btw,,given that he is gay,,he probably feels more comfortable GIVING HER ORAL SEX and getting off on it,rather than have EYE-TO-EYE sex with a woman and be able to get erect...GAy men pretending to be heterosexual RELY so much on CLOSING THEIR EYES AND GIVING ORALS,while in there head they are fantasizing about things that REALLY GET THEM OFF...
Being gay is just fine,but be self accepting of that fact and stop marrying women,is all I am saying!

Given that her relationship with him is all about CONTROL too..she has to use sex to keep him stuck with her...so,ofcourse,she has to say to ORAL SEX each time he wants it...and in order to be all tip top in shape for oral sex,SOAKS IN PUBLIC HOT SPRING BATHS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA,NO?

The tangled web people weave for themselves and others in DYSFUNCTIONAL MARRIAGES...(puke!)

which is also one reason I AM DISGUSTED BY THE PUBLIC BATH SYSTEM..God knows(i am agnostic) whose genitalia holds what STD secrets...and everyone just gets into one common FILTHY POOL OF WATER...
And the fact that MR.GREEN then licks this perineum that has soaked in such FILTHY PUBLIC BATH WATERS...I am glad I NEVER REALLY KISSED HIM IN REAL LIFE...
GEEE,DISGUSTING when you start calculating who mouth has been where!

so, anyways, coming back to the fact that she is probably a college major and thus has studied basic high school biology in the process, she should have studied enough biology to know the MILESTONES OF PSYCHOSEXUAL DEVELOPMENT(This is 12th grade biology)..The idiot
doesn't even know she is SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT...she talks as if SHE HAS
INVENTED SOMETHING NEW...

She talks about this other lady  WHO CAME TO THE BAR who talked bout how she went to these BATH SOAKS.Apparently,this other lady has a small kid....a boy..and since THE BOY is only 3 years old, the ladies figured that it WAS OKAY to take him to the LADIES bath along with them?...geezus...this is what i would call SCARRING A KID FOR LIFE!

mr.green then  proceeds to describe the child in her blog and the first thing she chooses as worth mentioning is that the kid has , " blue eyes, blonde hair" and I GET ANOTHER BOUT OF NAUSEA!
She is a south east asian with typical south east asian features and her husband,mr.green is a cuacasoid guy with white skin and grey eyes...HE IS HER TROPHY HUSBAND..
I MEAN..even in a child,if  the first thing she chooses worth mentioning is EYE COLOR AND HAIR COLOR,obviously she is one of those gaijin crazy women! she is objectifying white people !

I always get turned off by how much mr.green describes,labels and categorizes women in terms of eye color and breast size and such shit..he is a shallow mother fucking bastard..

Suddenly,I figured,,SHE IS JUST AS SHALLOW as him(the husband)..

mr.green,The husband during one of our early conversations , before he got to see my face, asked me "what is your eye color?"
I mean.i gave him an opportunity to talk to me and the very first set of questions he starts asking are about my eye color and hair color .he WASTES PRECIOUS CONVERSATION TIME asking me mundane details...but that also shows what is MORE important to him in life!
PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN just EYE COLOR AND HAIR COLOR..but for people who are so shallow,that is what matters i suppose!

Anyways,while reading her blog about this kid whom she choosing to classify and describe based on eye color and hair color,FOR A MINUTE, my nausea gave way to MOCKING LAUGTHER...I thought to myself, " THEY DESERVE each other...fucking shallow ignorant crazies..people crazy for a particular"hair color" and "eye color" as if PEOPLE ARE CATALOGUE BARBIES or cars !"

Funnily , also, I remember him, once mentioning how "green eyed caucasoid" men are HARD TO COME BY and so south east asian women would like to STAMP THEIR OWNERSHIP by forcing them to wear an engagement ring.. This he said while describing his own engagement ring.
So, essentially , HE WAS MARKETING HIMSELF as a TROPHY , to begin with?

MAYBE, both of them are RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER...They both think RELATIONSHIPS ARE BUSINESS DEALS...whatever.
So yeah,this was one big reason, I KNEW RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING that I would NEVER
WANT TO MARRY HIM ever...I mean, the "eye color"question from him, totally MADE me not
want to ever be with him ever-shallow ignorant closet gay guy!

So, yeah,let us continue with the story she describes in her blog.so yeah,THESE CRAZY LADIES have taken this 3 year old boy to a bath FULL OF NAKED SOUTH EAST ASIAN WOMEN...Now this lady then observes in the blog that the BOY WAS STARING AT THE BELLY BUTTON of the women and then concludes the blog with a statement about how  sexuality develops by that young age .. WTF!
AT this point of reading her blog, I conclude that SHE IS A CREEP TOO.
.I often, think of him as a CREEP ,and now, I know that his wife is a creep too!LOL.So, she is an equal creep..GEEZUS.
That is just a child,and it is the fucking mistake of the adult women to take him to a bath full of naked people..Taking a 3 year old boy to a bath full of naked women AMOUNTS TO SEXUAL  ABUSE...GET THAT? and then you complain that the kid is staring at BELLY-BUTTONS?
WHAT THE FUCK... This is like  child sexual abusers and pedophiles stating  that the child WANTED THE SEX WITH THEM AND GAVE THEM SIGNALS!
seriously..IDIOT DUMBCHIT...seriously!

Anyways...so yeah...end of angry rant.LOL

So, yeah...HORRIBLE IDEAS OF SEX AND SEXUALITY..and creeps everywhere..and all this disgusts me to no end
Tags:psychosexual_development,psychology,love,sexual_identity,dysfunctional_relationships,dog_on_a_leash,child_abuse,child_sexual_abuse

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